Growing up as a police officer’s daughter was not as bad as everyone imagines it to be. No, I did not have extremely strict rules, and my dad is not a scary guy. Yes, I encountered some challenges. Sending a loved one off to their profession every day knowing they can potentially be killed on duty is stressful and scary. When my dad returned home, there were always new stories that turned into life lesson lectures. Here are a few of the lessons I learned as a cop’s daughter.

1. Own up to your actions

The only person accountable for your decisions is you. If you do something wrong, expect consequences. If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes, but when you make a mistake, hold yourself responsible – don’t play it off as someone else’s fault because that’s not fair to anyone. A sincere apology can go a long way, and make a situation a whole lot brighter.

2. Lying is not tolerated

Plain and simple. My dad always knew when I was lying; he’s a human lie detector. I quickly learned that my lies got me in more trouble than my mistake would have. Lying makes situations messy, and you usually end up burying yourself in a deeper hole. It’s easier to come clean and own up to your actions.

3. Love thy neighbor

As crazy as it may seem, cops are not out to get you, they are there to help you out. Their job is to serve and protect citizens. My dad was once responded to a call where two young boys were arguing over who’s turn it was to ride a bike they shared. The next day, my dad took one of our old bikes and gave it to the boys, so they could ride around the block together. This gesture spoke greatly to me and showed me that together we make an up community, so lend a helping hand.

4. Invest in people

One day we will all leave this earth, and when we die what worth will our material items hold to us? None. Invest your time, energy, and money into people, as they will be the leaders of the future.

5. There are two sides to every story

Growing up, I don’t think my parents ever took my side when I told them the latest school drama. My dad always told me how the other person may have seen and felt in the situation. He analyzed my problems as he did on the job, and as much as this aggravated me (feeling I was always the bad guy), I now understand that it’s not always about being right or wrong. It’s about understanding each other and working together to find solutions, instead of tearing each other apart.

6. Be respectful towards one another

Everyone has a background and their own set of problems going on in their life, so you can’t just make assumptions about how to treat someone based on what you see on the surface. If you want to be treated with respect, you must show respect to others.

7. Know how to defend yourself

I’m sure we’ve all done our fair share of wrestling and beating up our siblings, but let me tell you, wrestling with an adult who has had an abundance of self-defense training is tough and painful. These playful wrestling matches led to him teaching me defense tactics, and he pushed me to take self-defense courses. I feel a lot safer, and confident, knowing I can fend for myself. Defense training or not, always be smart and aware of your surroundings.

8. Forgiveness is key

We all make mistakes. We cannot always control what happens. Be the first to forgive others. Holding grudges uses way too much energy that we could instead be using to put towards doing something positive. More importantly, do not be your own worst critic. Forgive yourself, learn, and move on.

Every night I had the privilege to hear the crazy stories of what my dad had dealt with that day. Some were scary, others were appalling, but my favorites were the ones that showed how wonderful people can be. Having a cop for a parent was difficult at times, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.