When people think of feminists, they picture raging, hysterical women who want to burn our institutions to the ground because they’re corrupt and attribute all human rights issues to feminism. I can assure you that not all feminists are alike. And as a non-radical feminist, here are a few things I’m tired of hearing.
1. "I’m not a feminist because I still want my boyfriend to pay for our dates."
The seemingly inconsequential notion of who should pay for a date has sparked many-a-virtual-debate over the years. If we want both genders to be equal, then why does one have to shell out the costs for a disproportionate number of dates? Is it a remnant of a time when men had to unconsciously signal their breadwinner-like qualities to their financially dependent, future-best-homemaker-ever dates? Or is it merely an act of courtesy, a custom that is done out of familiarity rather than societal expectation? To females skeptical of feminism, don’t worry about men becoming total animals once equality is established. They probably won’t leave a door to slam in your face when they enter a building in front of you, or refuse to pay the entirety of a bill. Some things, whether or not they were rooted in a patriarchal mindset, shouldn't discredit your belief in equal rights. It’s important to focus on the big-picture implications of feminism rather than frivolous consequences.
2. "I don’t believe in feminism; I believe in equality."
Feminism is defined as the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities. The movement’s name includes the Latin root femina, for woman, because it aims to raise women to the social, economic and political standards that are already enjoyed by men. Unfortunately, arguments in support of feminism are often misconstrued by hidden feminists who can’t find the time of day to conduct a simple Google search.
3. "I don't identify as a feminist because I don't hate males."
4. "The gender pay gap isn't real."
The gender pay gap is not actually “debunked.” Granted, the issue is too complicated to say that “a woman makes $0.79 for every $1 that a man makes,” because variables like education, skills, profession and age aren’t acknowledged. However, after controlling these variables and accounting for the fact that women work less paid hours and in less lucrative positions, the pay gap is still 8 percent. Studies show that females have lower chances of getting promoted and have lower incomes within all fields, education levels, and ages.
5. "Feminism isn't real; it was just made up by sensitive women."
This misconception comes from a very particular breed of woman. They dislike the institution of marriage because it was once a mechanism to perpetuate inequality. They are extremely career-oriented because the right to be was once deprived in the past. They are against wearing makeup or being feminine because it is what society tells them to do. The actions of some feminists shouldn’t be generalized to an entire group. Most feminists won’t punch you in the face if you call them pretty. And while some men claim that feminism was made up by overly-sensitive women who infer the worst from the benign intentions of most men, concrete evidence remains – rape culture exists and the gender pay gap is real.
6. "A female just became the official democratic candidate for president. Feminism=accomplished."
7. "#Meninism"
No. Please exit.
8. "Why would males go against their own gender?"
The mindset of feminism isn’t males versus females, but rather society versus patriarchy. To males who fear that slowly raising the economic, social and political bar for women will actually oppress men, I can assure you that feminists don’t have a hidden matriarchal agenda in store. Their goal is to achieve equality across the board. Feminism isn't just for women - it breaks the gender expectation for men, too. Men don't have to be traditionally masculine. They don't have to be disillusioned by a world's portrayal of a strong, protective man: "If men don't have to be aggressive to be accepted, women won't feel compelled to be submissive." Breaking gender roles for one means breaking them for all, so that males can be accepted as sensitive too, and women can be accepted as strong. Males need feminism just as much as everyone else.
Feminism has come a long way since the 1920s. Women can vote, hold office, and are free to pursue almost any career they want. But the negative stigma surrounding feminism needs to be broken for social progression to continue. Individuals should once again be proud to be feminists.
