Ahhh, formal szn. It only comes around twice a year. And, if you’re a single, social sorority girl, odds are you’re going to a different fraternity formal every weekend starting two weeks before spring break through the weekend before final exams. They’re crazy, they’re fun, they’re memorable (if you remember anything at all) and odds are, you’ll come back having made connections with other girls and fraternity members.
1. The anticipation that begins with the first fraternity meeting of the semester.
*Bae gets done with his first Monday night formal meeting of the semester*
Me: “So when is formal and where is it and what are the themes for the parties each night, and I want a long-sleeve T-shirt, size medium, but large if they’re offering crew-neck sweatshirts and I already bought three handles and ohmygosh I can’t wait.”
Bae: "Idk."
2. The drive up to formal: "Watch out, my outfit's ridiculouuuuus."
You’ve finally gotten through the agony of the first half of the semester and you’ve made it to the best weekend of the year. You spend the four-hour drive nailing Ludacris’ rap line in Usher’s “Yeah!”, certain you’ll have the chance to demonstrate at the party later that night.
3. Formal Dinner: The feeling of panicked disappointment
You arrive with your date, get all settled in and start pampering yourself for formal dinner. When you finally make your way to the main cabin, half the people are already drunk and the “dinner” is a single slice of pizza (if you’re lucky). Everyone seems to know each other, so you cling to your date and your other good friend, the (Jon) Wall. Maybe you should’ve pre-gamed dinner too.
4. Friday-night party: Truly thriving
After a lengthy pre-game with your cabin mates, you lead the pack to the party cabin, in your prime, ready to tear up the dance floor. It doesn’t disappoint, as you’re featured on eight people’s snap stories rapping the Ludacris line of “Yeah!”
5. Saturday morning: Let's Mutherf***ing GO!
What happened last night? Who are you? Can you pass the Advil? Where’s the boxed wine? It’s 9:00 a.m. Time to drink. You spend the day tipsy, meeting frat brothers as you and your date bounce between cabins, the beach and the hot tub. By 10:00 a.m., someone’s fallen off a balcony, passed out in the shower and a few are belligerently drunk in front of small children at the pool. Life is good.
6. Saturday night: Fizzling out
Groggy from your “quick nap” before you rally for the party on Saturday night, your date drags you to a bonfire on the beach where people are (somehow?) still drinking. The party later that night fizzles out within an hour, but you're determined to have a good time and end up drinking too much anyway.
7. Sunday morning: Mood = Pedialyte
The mad rush to check out of the resort before 10:00 a.m. begins with an all-too-early 8:00 a.m. alarm. Two “snoozes” later and you wake up to 11 Facebook and GroupMe notifications, all from people at formal who have lost a phone, keys, an inhaler or their “Make America Great Again” bro tank. When you finally get on the road, you ask to stop at Cub for some much-needed Pedialyte. Mmm, refreshing.
8. Sunday Night: Post-formal scaries
You arrive back on campus after what’s been the greatest, wildest weekend of your life. Ludacris runs in the back of your brain as you try to refocus your attention on molecular biology and physics for a…test tomorrow? Dear god. You procrastinate by posting on Instagram and decide to take the L this week. After all, formal szn is only twice a year.
Whether you attend one or seven, fraternity formals are bound to be a good time. Just make sure you've got some emergency Gatorade (and maybe a paper bag or two) for you and your friends for the ride home.
