Have you ever just wanted to stay in on a night when all of your friends want to go out? Whether it is because you don’t feel well, it is six degrees outside or it is a weeknight and you have early class the next day and really have to get things done, sometimes you just need a night off. If you are like me, however, when you do take this rare night off from the Happy Valley festivities, you immediately go into a state of panic and mental anguish that persist throughout your time in, when you are supposed to be relaxing, avoiding contracting hypothermia or studying (watching Netflix). If any of the previous symptoms describe you, you suffer from fear of missing out -- an affliction commonly known as FOMO. Here are the eight steps of the progression of this common syndrome.
Stage 1: Deciding to not go out
This is the stage that causes the initial onset of FOMO. Here, you first get the idea to stay in. You tell yourself that you don’t care that all your friends are going out and it is going to be so much fun. There will be plenty more nights out with your friends, and tonight you really don’t feel well, it’s cold and you have work to do. You have made up your mind. You are staying in your sweats and calling it a night.
Stage 2: Beginning to regret your decision and consider going out
At this stage, your FOMO has begun. You think of all the fun times you will be missing out on. All of your friends begin texting you and some start begging you to join them tonight, and they almost convince you. You quickly remember the last time you stayed in and missed the most fun social ever, followed by the craziest party ever, and did not get to witness the amazing late night everyone was talking about the next day. At this point, you look at your closet and see all your cute clothes taunting you to get ready and join your friends. Your FOMO has officially taken hold.
Stage 3: Beginning to do something else
At this point, you realize that it is too late to get ready and actually go out, so that’s it -- you are stuck staying in. To get your mind off this depressing fact, you begin doing other things, most likely the homework you stayed in to do, or binge watching the season of that show you are really getting into. This distracts you for a little while, and you almost forget that you are missing out on fun and merriment.
Stage 4: Boredom sets in and you check social media
This is the most dangerous stage of FOMO, because it is where the problem really begins to escalate. You become bored with the previously mentioned activities, so you decide to get on your phone and check Instagram. Oh, cool. Sally posted a pic of her and all her friends dancing on an elevated surface. You are the queen of elevated surfaces. Oh, well. Next time.
Your big posted a picture of herself behind the DJ booth with the headphones on. Normally, you do that together. Your best guy friend in the fraternity you are socialing with tonight shared a panoramic photo of everyone on the dance floor. You keep scrolling and it gets worse and worse.
Your FOMO has officially set in. You begin to drive yourself insane with mental scenarios of what every single person you know is doing and you tell yourself you’re a lame loser for staying in. In severe cases, you might begin to feel that your friends won’t like you anymore after this because you did not experience this incredible night with them.
Stage 5: Denial
At this stage, you are in mental recovery mode, so you begin to try to convince yourself that you would not have had that much fun if you went out. Your throat hurts and it would have made it worse yelling over the music to talk to everyone. It's cold out and you had a long day walking all over campus in the tundra-like conditions. You have an 8 a.m. and it would be so annoying to start your day off by being super tired. At this point, you genuinely convince yourself that you are the smart one for staying in.
Stage 6: Getting messages from all your friends who are out
Just as you have finally made yourself believe that staying in was a good choice, you begin getting texts from your friends who are out. Against your better judgment, you read them: “Are you going to Beta Beta Beta late night???” “Where are you?!” “Let’s meet up!” “Want to go to Gumby’s???”
All of the hard work you just put in telling yourself it was good to not go out has been wasted. All of these people are having fun and you are not there. You are frustrated, enraged, and are mentally kicking yourself while you send 75 texts that say, “Haha I stayed in tonight :(“.
Stage 7: Go to bed mad at yourself
You are sick of these dumb, so-called friends worsening your already horrible FOMO, so you decide to just go to bed. Maybe you will have dreams about having fun, and not being 80 years old, to make up for your poor decision-making of the night.
Stage 8: Wake up with mixed emotions
When you wake up, you are well rested. You did not just come in and crash in whatever clothes you were wearing the previous night, and there is not an empty Canyon box and a Wings Over container tossed carelessly on the ground. Maybe you actually did make a decent choice by staying in. Before you get out of bed, you check your phone and, again, see the pictures of everyone having fun. Nope, staying in was dumb. You are young. You only have four (or five, or six -- no judgment) years at this amazing school we get to call our home. You can stay in when you graduate and consistently have to act like a real person. For now, you are going to have fun and you are never staying in and suffering through a terrible bout of FOMO again.
