America loves watching Taylor Swift’s love life. America also loves watching men cry like little girls on "The Bachelorette" as the leading lady’s love life is broadcast to millions. Why has no one ever suggested combining the two? I know what you’re thinking: Taylor Swift would never do that. She probably would rather join One Direction on tour with the Jonas Brothers, but humor me.
Sure, Taylor might be too famous for the show, but if ABC could manage to finagle her into signing up, they could essentially guarantee every woman ages 11 to infinity (give or take a few years) would watch, not to mention all the boyfriends forced into viewing. This is a bold statement, I know, but I invite any ABC executive or random person reading this to test my assertion. Ask the next girl you see if she watches "The Bachelorette" or listens to Taylor Swift, and I once again guarantee you she will say yes to one or both of those questions. If she says no, she’s lying to protect her dignity, just like you do when you binge-eat your roommate's Oreos and then claim her dog ate them. While viewership is important, however, we also need to show ABC some more compelling reasons for Taylor Swift to be the next “Bachelorette.”1. Her Cats
Forget the bachelors, Taylor’s cats would steal the show. Dr. Meredith Grey and Detective Olivia Benson could do interviews with Taylor, claw at Chris Harrison every time he says “amazing,” and provide great facial expressions whenever someone does something stupid. A group date could be taking care of the cats and ABC could even use Meredith as cross-promotion for "Grey’s Anatomy." The cats might cost extra, though.
2. All the Crazies That Would Sign Up
Can you say “aspiring musician,” but actually a waiter? Since Taylor is such a massive deal, more crazies than ever would sign up to get their 15 minutes of fame. While Taylor might not be too pleased with the amount of barely-legally-considered-sane gentlemen eager to meet her, we could enjoy all the man-tears and catfights.
3. All Her Best Friends/Famous People Would Show Up
Picture group dates where the guys have to model with Cara Delevingne, practice witty feminism with Lena Dunham, or learn how to sing a cappella with Hailee Steinfeld and the "Pitch Perfect" cast. Also, all of Taylor’s friends are gorgeous so some of the guys might fall for them too, meaning drama. I can sense the bad blood brewing already.
4. Taylor Would Have the Best Commentary
~so eloquent~
Taylor is a writer, so she would surely employ an abundance of words that aren't "amazing" to describe her dates. She could narrate fairy tales genuinely while varying her word choice because she's just that talented. Plus, she's never been at a loss for words when it comes to boys.
5. All the Songs
Taylor would be so inspired, "The Bachelorette" could practically be a musical. I’m thinking a new song every episode with an album titled “Every Rose Has Its Thorn.” On that note, other song title suggestions are “Dumping People Is Hard,” “This Date Is Awkward,” and “How Dare You Cheat On Me – This Is F---ing My Show! (explicit)”
6. One Of Her Exes Comes Back?!
~swoon~
Oftentimes, past lovers come to woo the bachelorette back, so what if one of Taylor’s former flames returned to chase her heart? Better yet, what if the season was all famous handsome ex-boyfriends?
7. She’s Experienced
Taylor has dated a wide variety of men, so she won’t be overwhelmed when she dates 25 at once. Correction: Anyone would be a little overwhelmed, but Taylor has the wisdom to appreciate the ratio.
8. She Might Actually Meet a Nice Guy
While it’s rare, some "Bachelor" and "Bachelorette" couples do get married. Sean and Catherine Lowe are always #relationshipgoals, and JP and Ashley Rosenbaum just had a baby! So, maybe Taylor will find her Mr. Right on a dating show. Stranger things have never happened, but it would still be the most "amazing," dramatic season yet.
So let’s make it official: #TaylorSwiftforBachelorette2016
