Happy (Late) Bisexuality Awareness Week!
After celebrating a week of validating, accept and spread awareness of an often misunderstood sexuality, it's important to remember that even in our good weeks, there are toxic and persisting issues and stigmas that plague the bisexual community. Here are 8 examples of such stigmas:
1. "Bisexual is a transphobic term."
Really? If you're the one making this argument, you come across as arrogant and biphobic, rather than a "woke activist". Being bisexual means you're into two or more genders. Secondly, insinuating that bisexuals are not attracted to transgenders separates transgender people into an entirely different gender category which is false within itself. Trans women are women. Trans men are men. While there are sure to be some bisexuals in the community who are not attracted to Transgenders, it's not the whole community -- and far from it.
2. "Bisexuals are using it as an excuse to cover their homosexuality."
This one is the most confusing of the stigmas. How hard is it to understand that some people find men and women attractive? We find it easy to sexualize athletes, celebrities and ... furries, but when it comes to people who vocally would be emotionally and sexually intimate with both men and women? Nonsense! That's impossible! How does that argument even begin to make sense?
3. In reality, it's LGBT.
When it comes to the issue of LGBT+ rights across the U.S and around the world, it's hard for bisexuals to not feel represented. Due to bisexuals ability to obtain a "normal" marriage, the stigma that they're lying, are transphobic, etc -- causes bisexuals to take a backseat in the political vernacular of the movement. How many people know the rainbow flag? Mostly everyone. How many people can accurately name the colors of the bisexual flag? Not so much.
4. Being bisexual means you just love threesomes, and nothing but threesomes.
Can I tell you a secret? Threesomes aren’t a new invention, they’ve been happening since as early as 400 BC and that means that *shocker* straight people have been participating in them too. There are queer individuals who do genuinely enjoy threesomes, no matter where they fall on the spectrum; there are straight individuals who do genuinely enjoy threesomes as well. So, saying that only bisexuals enjoy and partake in threesomes is absolutely false; there are plenty of monogamous bisexuals who would never even dream of participating in a threesome, and are just offended by the fact you think they aren’t.
5. "Some bisexuals are monogamous."
Being monogamous means that one only wants to be intimate with one person, and for a bisexual, that means being monogamous no matter the person’s gender. Being with one person, and one person only is not a new concept, straight and gay people do it all the time, so why can’t a multi-sexual person be the same way?
6. "Some bisexuals are polyamorous."
Yeah, polyamory means having the desire to be intimate with more than one partner, which contradicts the statement alone, but yes you did read that right. Being bisexual doesn’t necessarily influence one’s desire to be polyamorous or vice versa, but one can be both. Honestly, I’m not polyamorous and I don’t want to misrepresent them so I’m going to end this here, but know this: being polyamorous does not make one any less valid as a bisexual.
7. "Bisexuals are more likely to cheat."
The correlation between finding more than two genders attractive and cheating is pretty much non-existent. Being bisexual makes one as likely to cheat as their straight counterparts, which means it might happen, it might not. A bisexual individual can admire all but that doesn’t mean they are going to jump in the pants of the first person they see after leaving their house in the morning.
8. "Bisexuals assume the identity of their partner."
No thought will make a bisexual Hulk out more than this thought pattern. Yeah, a bisexual is going to look one way depending on whom they are dating, and that’s going to make it easy for someone else to just look at their partner and assume the bisexual’s identity. But don’t do that! A bisexual person isn’t their partner, they are a bisexual.
Lastly, it's important to remember that each bisexual individual is unique and their partners are just as unique. No relationship is the same. Some of these stigmas may yield true for some people. The key is to open your mind, listen to a bisexual and learn from them. Acceptance is key.
