Romance novels and movies are one of the most sold and profitable genres in entertainment today. Why do so many women love immersing themselves in steamy, fictional accounts of romance? Speaking from experience, I can tell you that romantic media offers us an escape from reality that we so desperately need at times. We then convince ourselves that even though what we're reading isn't real, it is inspired by reality and therefore possible. This is where the danger comes in: We unintentionally gobble up lies that go on to shape our whole life perspective. Here are some you might still believe:
1. Prince Charming will save you from yourself, your wounds, your past, and your enemies in whatever shape and form they may come in. No matter how broken you are, Prince Charming will fix you.
No. No. No
. Honey, the “Damsel in Distress” syndrome does not do you any good. No man can fix you or make you whole. Only Christ has the power to bring you healing and complete you. Don’t go looking for salvation in a human being that is just as broken as you are. It won’t work. You will only burden your partner with a load he himself cannot carry.2. Without romantic love, your life is empty and purposeless.
No. As Priscilla Wilson so eloquently stated, “You need to be complete before marriage in order to be whole in marriage.” And how do you become complete? By operating in the fullness of God. Know thy calling. What is His plan for your life? What desires and passions has he purposefully put in you so that you may fulfill them? Do not live life on the sidelines, merely waiting for love to fly by. Love has already found you. Love walked among us and Love died for you so you may have abundant life. Love is Jesus, and in Jesus, you have everything. Let Him define your life instead of you reducing your life to a pointless anticipation or hunger for the mere experience of ‘romantic’ love.
3. “Happily Ever Afters” are not only in fairy tales, but can be your modern reality too.
No. Fairy tales never have and never will exist. That’s why they are called “fairy tales” in the first place. You may be thinking, no DUH who doesn’t know that? In which case you are right. However, the implications of such an obvious truth are not so obvious to everyone. In real life, there will never be a Happily Ever After because of the nature of our world. There will always be obstacles you will have to face and conquer-- disappointments and difficulties you will have to overcome. When it comes to your relationship with your partner, you will face so much more than you reckoned for. No relationship is ever perfect. Loving someone else means that even when they hurt you— believe me, they will— you will love them anyway. I’m not saying all this to paint a gloomy picture of romance but to remind you that you must learn to function in reality and not in fairy tales. Life is difficult and so are people. Yet in God, we have the wonderful promise that no matter how tough life is, He is there to intervene in ways that will always take our breath away. So give God your relationship (or your relationship status), and watch what He does with it.
4. The sole power of love will always overcome all other evils and problems in life, and will be enough to keep you and your Prince charming together.
No. We know that only God has the power to overcome evil with His love. It is not merely the power of the love you feel for someone that can keep the both of you together, but the ultimate power and love of God that work in your hearts, your decisions and your will. Most importantly, it is only through the power of God that you can resist the disuniting ploys of Satan in your life.
5. If your current partner is not good enough, you can always find someone better.
Definitely not! (Even Barney's endless and unsatisfying affairs proved that). If you live with this mentality, you will not know stability. You will not begrateful for those who are in your life. You will always seek to replace people, instead of loving them the way they are. America's divorce rates are so high, partly because people get together for the “better” times and not the “worse” times. When the bad moments strike, people want out. If that sounds like you, take a time to evaluate yourself. Do you find it easy to blame other people? Would you rather believe other people are burdens you have to "cope" with? Or if you are in a relationship, do you have such thoughts about your partner? If you nodded, you must realize that with this kind of reasoning, even if you were to find someone better, nothing is to say that you will stay with that ‘better’ person either. After some time, they too will become a burden you will want to get rid of for someone “better”. This is why godly faithfulness is so important. Let man not separate what God has brought together.
6. It doesn’t matter how you look inside or out because Prince charming will love you regardless of your physical appearance or character.
No. Physical appearance will always be a factor. It may not be the determining factor in some relationships, but it is never discounted either. Yes, everyone is beautiful, but you must never neglect your body. Love yourself. Take care of yourself. Guard your heart. Work on your character. Allow God to grow you and change you in ways that only He can. Every man wants a partner who is beautiful not only on the outside, but on the inside too.
7. Prince Charming will be imperfect in all the perfect ways.
No. Everyone is flawed. End of story. No one is perfect. Therefore, a man’s imperfections will not always be pleasurable to you. In fact, his imperfections will cause you distress and he will hurt you. That is why love covers a multitude of sins. You are not meant to solely love the imperfections you can live with, but even the imperfections that cause you pain.
8. Of course Prince Charming will be a physical god-- six packs and all.
Sometimes in searching for the “perfect” guy, you miss the gentle, loving man in your life who may not be your “type” but is nonetheless handsome. It’s not fair to expect men to be physically perfect, and yet wish they would not want US women, to be physically perfect either. Today, we all know that the media’s female and male portrayals of physical perfection are lies…but how many of us still hold men to impossible standards? Every man is a creation of God and therefore “good”. Let that be enough.
The list of subtle and subliminal lies in romantic media is endless but these were some of the recurring ones in many of our lives. My goal is to enlighten you as a reader, so that you may be careful about what you absorb into your soul, mind and heart. The key to a life of wellness is learning to live free from the bondage of lies and deception in whatever form they may appear. Do not let fiction dictate or shape your reality. Instead, let your life always be defined by the imperishable Truth of God.
