A couple of weeks ago, while browsing the vanity aisles of CVS, I had the impulse to try out a set of glue on nails. As someone who bites their nails incessantly, I looked forward to having a more sightly manicure and feeling more glamorous in general, and though I assumed longer nails would take getting used to, I did not fully anticipate just how absolutely trying the most simple tasks would now become. Things like:

1. Playing an instrument.

Guitar, violin, piano, and many others. The nails get in the way of reaching the notes you need. No fingers, no chords, and no plucking with a pick. The music will sadly have to wait. This is already not worth it.

2. Using your phone.

This was maybe the worst just because of how often one uses their phone, especially me. I had to struggle even to press the home button, and typing took about 10 times longer. At one point I took off my the nail glued to my thumb just to have one normal typing finger, even if it looked weird.

My nails might as well have been like this for all they were worth.

3. Styling your hair.

I kept accidentally ripping nails out trying to put my hair in a simply ponytail and get it out of my face. Really I just kept ripping off nails every time I dared to use my hands.

4. Keeping them clean.

I never realized how much gunk can get under nails when they extend past your fingertips. After just a couple of hours, I already somehow got a bit of chocolate under one. Scraping it out proved not to work too well, nor did it slide out while under a stream of water. I had to take the nail off to clean it before replacing it.

5. Opening things. Literally anything.

Boxes, envelopes, plastic wrapped foods, lids, books, zippers, bottles, wallets . . . so many things became frustratingly out of reach. I kept asking other people to pop things open for me.

6. Applying makeup

Grasping items and being able to use them with precision was a quite bit of a task. I also usually use my fingertips to apply eyeshadow (personally works better for me and I'm not an expert), but that option now went out the door. Also putting on chapstick was less fun.

7. Typing

Just try it. And good luck if you’ve got a track pad rather than a mouse! You’re kind of better off tackling it with your knuckles.

8. Getting dressed and undressed

Pulling clothes on and off is time consuming and far more inconvenient than it should be, as well as dealing with zippers, buttons, clasps, and anything of that manner.

Pretty, and pretty impractical.

Ultimately, I lasted approximately four days before I got fed up with losing nails throughout the day and having to reapply them (and when I did, I had to be careful during the drying period of about an hour) and most of all, with not being able to do any part of daily human routine without struggling and cursing at myself. They sure did make me feel pretty, but they were not for me. They might be cute to wear for a night out, but handling yourself with them 24/7 is tough, and I’m just not tough enough.