Tolstoy opened his famous novel Anna Karenina by saying, "All happy families are alike. But each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." Tolstoy is not the first to admit that families are complicated, and he is certainly not the last. No matter what order of birth you fall under, you'll claim you had it the hardest out of any of your siblings. As the youngest, I can only speak from my perspective. These are some struggles of being the youngest, and a few perks, too.
1. You’re always worried about being left out.
Whether it was a movie you weren’t allowed to see or having to go to bed before everyone else, you were always worried about being left out of whatever fun might be going on. As you got older, this might have branched out into your friend groups. You find yourself with serious FOMO because those childhood worries about missing out on the fun find a way of sneaking back to the surface.
2. You never get anything new.
Whenever your sibling(s) got new toys or electronics, you wished you could play with them, too. It was only when they were finished with them and got the next new thing that you got to experience it. Oh, the painful years of "sharing" the first family iPod.
3. You’re always being compared to your sibling(s).
Getting your siblings' previous teacher was a nightmare because it meant being referred to as the little version of your sibling(s). No matter who it is, someone is always wondering about you in relation to your sibling(s).
4. You have at least 3 parents, or so it feels.
Anyone with an older sibling (or a few) can recall those siblings playing the roll of parent. It's rare when older siblings don’t feel protective of their younger family members and even rarer for them to see younger siblings as peers. Often your sibling(s) can feel like they are your parents as well. Although it did come in handy having someone who could scare away the playground bullies.
5. You’re accused of having more freedom.
Somehow your sibling(s) fail to see the many times you were in trouble. When you were younger, they constantly badgered you about getting to do things at a younger age than them.Your sibling(s) took out their life-long bitterness on you, as if your parents giving you permission to spend the weekend at a friend’s house is your fault. After all, this only happens because we learn from our older sibling's mistakes.
6. People rarely engage with you at social functions.
Everything the oldest does is so new and exciting for everyone that by the time it’s your turn no one is interested anymore. Who cares about you acing your first test in middle school if your older sibling has just been accepted into college? If you were an introverted kid like me, this was often a relief. You could read in the corner for hours before anyone noticed you "weren't being friendly."
7. You get closer to your parents as you get older.
Once your older sibling(s) have moved out, you’re the only one left for your parents to pick on. This also means you get quality time with the parents. Being the only child left offers you a great time to create new memories with just you and your parents, such as romantic comedy marathons with mom and trips to the grocery store with dad. Okay, maybe my older sister really didn't miss out on too much when she went to college.
8. The older you get the less you fight.
When I was younger I thought this was a myth people told kids so that they wouldn’t give up on their siblings. However, it turns out this is true, at least in my case. My sister and I used to fight over who got more Ramen soup. Five years ago, if you were to tell me I was going to adore her as much as I do now, I wouldn't have believed you. I was lucky enough to have a sister that never gave up on us. There is hope to eventually get along with your sibling(s). That is, if you don’t kill each other before you get there.
