No matter what kind of relationship you're in, you're going fight. It doesn’t matter if you're married, long distance, in close proximity, without labels or in an open relationship; it’s going to happen. It happens all the time, or rarely at all, but it’s important to know how to fight, when to fight and what to do when fighting. Here’s some ways to know how to fight and what to do, but the most important thing to remember during an argument is to always respect your partner, no matter how angry you are at one another. Without respect, there’s nothing to fight for.
Don’t run away
It’s definitely not OK to run away when you’re in an argument. How does that fix anything? All that does is create doubts for your significant other into questioning what will happen in the future. It shows that there are real problems forming when one partner can’t face the other. Running away never solved anyone’s problems, so how will it solve your relationships’ problems?
Do take a step back
It is important to take a step back and collect your thoughts. Take a breather for a few seconds and then tell your partner that you need to mull things over and set a time limit to when you’ll being talking again. This isn’t running away, it’s putting a little space between you and your partner to ensure that both of you will be able to talk about the problem.
Don’t talk it to death
As much as you want to talk about the problem and fix it, you can’t fix everything all at once. Talking about the problem over and over again is going to upset your partner and you when nothing moves forward. You’ll say things you don’t mean and so will your partner. Just don’t do it.
Do know how to simplify it
There are things you want to say and make a list of everything that is bothering you but that’s not going to help. Simplify it. Get straight to the point and what is making you mad. Tell your partner exactly what you’re feeling and leave it at that. You don’t need to write a book.
Don’t curse or yell
No. Just… no. Cursing at someone you love is insulting and hurtful. Yelling accomplishes nothing. You get mad, yes, but realize that hurting your partner even more is just going to tear the relationship apart.
Do stay calm
This is going to be hard, but it’s going to help you both. It’ll help so that you can talk about the issues. It’ll show the maturity in the both of you if you can sit down and talk about the problem. It will help your relationship and yourselves feel more confident in each other.
Don’t disrespect your partner
It’s not OK to drink behind your partner’s back, then don’t do it. If you feel the need to drink in order to talk to your partner, there is something wrong in that relationship. If it’s not OK to talk about your problems with others, then don’t do it. Rumors don’t help. If you have plans, keep them. Just don’t do something that is disrespectful to your partner. It creates more problems, shows your true colors as a person and breaks trust in a relationship. Once the trust is lost, so is the relationship. Be respectful. You’re in a fight, not a war.
Do treat them the same, even if you’re angry
If you call your partner “baby,” call them that. It brings warmth into the argument. It’s hard on the both of you. Just keep as much normality in the relationship as possible. It shouldn’t matter if you’re angry at your partner, you treat them the same way because you love them and the relationship you have with them.
Don’t choose others over the relationship when you’re in an argument
It’s OK to want to be with your friends, but when you’re in an argument, that’s not the right place to be. If your partner calls you, needing and begging to talking to you, then listen to them. Go home, go to them, answer the phone, something! Don’t just ignore them or choose others over them. They are the ones you’ll be with for the rest of your life. Don’t let your anger get in the way of realizing what you’re losing.
Do realize that this is important
Your partner is important and your relationship is important, therefore, this argument is important. Everything you say will affect the standing of your relationship. Realize that this affects everything about your relationship and the future of it. No matter how big or small, every argument is important and cannot be forgotten.
Don’t just “move on”
You can’t pretend a fight didn’t happen when it did, just like you can’t pretend something isn’t broken when it is. Though being normal is OK, acting as though nothing is wrong helps no one. Why ignore an issue when it’s your relationship on the line?
Do come to an agreement and go from there
With every argument, there needs to be a common ground. Yes, you both need to fix it but talking about it over and over isn’t going to help. So, make an agreement about how to fix it: what each person needs to do, how to change, what to overcome and go forward with the relationship with those goals in mind.
Don’t wallow or sulk
Why focus on the negative? That just shows all the bad parts of you, your relationship and your partner. It brings you down and you won’t be able to have a clear mind. You’ll come back still upset, frustrated and ready to yell.
Do focus on what makes you happy outside the relationship
The main reason why relationships work is because each partner is happy with themselves. They bring value and diversity into the relationship. Take the time to focus on yourself and what makes you happy. You deserve to be happy. No, it doesn’t mean that these things have to make you happier than your relationship, but they do have to make you happy.
Don’t think of the worst outcome
Just don’t do it! It’s only going to create more problems and make you more worked up than you need to be. The worst outcome is the worst outcome; it may not even happen. You don’t even know what that could be. Why think about it and make it a possibility? Why let it exist? Use all your strength to forget about the bad outcomes and think about how to make things right.
Do realize what happens happens for a reason
When one door closes, another one opens. You make mistakes, you fight and you learn. No one is perfect and things happen. Whatever happens at the end of the fight is helping you be a happier person in the end. Let it happen and make it work so it makes you a better person. Just understand that there is a plan for you that you haven’t discovered quite yet.
Though times seem hard during an argument, things will get better. If you truly care for and love one another, things will be OK. It may seem awkward at first, but that’s because both of you are feeling upset from the fight. Just stay strong, have faith and never give up if you’ve found ‘The One.’
