College is filled with many wonderful experiences that you will recount to friends and family during your visits back home. Having a communal bathroom at the end of your hall, however, is certainly not on the list of things to discuss over a Thanksgiving feast. Here are some tips to help the average college student survive and own the bathroom scene.
1. Bring air freshener.
This would seem obvious, except most people usually take the “Eh, it’ll be quick, I’m more of a mouth breather anyway” route. Well, this is not the best way to go if you encounter a nasty stench. I suggest keeping some handy air freshening spray. Something of this sort is sure to keep things smelling clean and fresh, or, if the smell is impenetrable, at least make the air tolerable for five minutes.
2. Always have reliable shower shoes on hand.
You know dressing for success? This is kind of like that, except success here is not getting a fungal infection or touching someone else’s strands of hair that they didn’t bother to clean out of the drain. I don’t care who told you to bring your average flimsy flip flops with you to college, if there’s one bathroom-related commodity you should splurge a little on, this would be it. Invest in a pair of reliable shower shoes; I 100 percent recommend ones that lift you more than a centimeter above the floor.
3. Always bring a waterproof shower tote with you, or make sure your bag/purse has handles.
Waterproof shower totes are essential for maintaining some hygienic decency when you go to take a shower. You can place them on the wet countertops without worrying that your stuff is touching one of the dirtiest surfaces in the bathroom. Also, you have a place to store your clean clothes, your dirty clothes, soap, toothbrush, and other toiletries, hands free.
It’s important to bring a bag or purse with handles or straps, because virtually every stall has a place to hang that bag or purse. They installed those hooks for a good reason; don’t miss that opportunity and place your bag on the floor.
4. Time when you go to the bathroom.
If you have major stage fright about going number two in a public bathroom, do not be afraid! But there are some ways you can “lessen the audience.” It is most common to find people in your bathroom between 9 to 11 a.m. and 8 to 11 p.m. This is because these are the usual times people choose to get ready for class or a party. The times when most people aren’t in the bathrooms are 6 to 8 a.m. (unless there are many people on your floor with an 8 a.m. class) and 3 to 5 p.m. You could even go as far as missing a few minutes of a large school event, such as a tailgate or major game, to go. But honestly, you’re going to have to deal with going in front of people sooner or later, which leads me to another tip:
5. Bring headphones. Yes, they can make a difference.
If you can’t bear the thought of listening to the unpleasant noises emanating from your lower half, you could always drown them out with an upbeat Taylor Swift song. Headphones are also helpful to eliminate the sounds that give the communal bathroom its dreaded ambiance. Someone’s gastrointestinal distress in the next stall getting you down? Bring your music up one notch. Someone else is puking in the other stall? One more notch. Two (or who knows how many more) people getting in on and making it loud? Bring your volume up to full blast. Bad noises trying to get you down? Nope, can’t hear them. Being deaf for one day afterwards is the least of your worries.
6. Get ready for a social bathroom experience.
People in communal bathrooms are generally (and sometimes disturbingly) friendly. I suggest you be friendly back, or at least cordial. You’re going to be seeing these people pretty frequently, because they live on your floor, and you don’t want to be known as that antisocial a-hole who grunts in the face of casual conversation.
7. When all else fails, tape a sign on the door to the stall next to you that says “Out of Order” so you can get some space.
Hey, to each their own.
