A 20-year-old struggles with self-love the same way a 40-year-old does. But the fact of the matter is this: you’ve got to love yourself first. Living in a world where everyone seems to be in competition makes this difficult, I get that. Somewhere down the line, a bored a**hole discovered the pleasant method of bringing others down to lift their own spirits up. Change has to start somewhere — every invention, idea and social norm started with the actions of a single person. Celebrating yourself is easier than you're making it. Here are some simple ways to fall in love with you:
- Go for a walk — Leaving social media behind and taking a stroll outside allows time for self-reflection. Think about your day (what you did, what you said, what you should’ve done differently, who you interacted with, how you made others feel/let others make you feel, etc.). Give yourself the chance to become a better person. Be patient, and don’t ever apologize for being you. Being the best version of yourself will teach you to love who you are.
- Talk to a good friend, anyone who makes you feel good — It’s extremely important that your group of friends is motivating, inspirational and uplifting. Give them a call. Talk about whatever’s on your mind. Let it all out. That’s what they’re there for. For all you know, they needed that therapeutic phone call just as much as you did. Learn to enjoy the company of others while also appreciating your own company during alone time.
- Weed out the toxins — If you’re like me, you suffer from Nice Girl (Guy) Syndrome. Saying “no” doesn’t happen as often as it should. You are who you hang out with. You enjoy being around them because they make you laugh, they’re adventurous, they have a puppy, whatever. Pay close attention to the way they treat others and how they behave in an argument. Someone who is kind to you is not necessarily a kind person, and it may be unhealthy for you to be around them for several reasons: they manipulate, put their problems before others’, become easily angry, and do not have any healthy relationships. People will assume you encourage such behavior and will steer away. Repeat after me: OTHER PEOPLE’S PROBLEMS ARE NOT YOURS. Do not throw any pity parties and do not stay in a relationship because you feel that you have to.
- Pick up a good book — Even if you do not like to read. I recently came across a quote that said, “People who do not enjoy reading haven’t found the right book”. There are billions of reading material in the world, and definitely a few that appeal to your interests. If you fall asleep reading it, even better! Naps are good for the soul, and many of you will skip the whole reading part in the first place. Either way, it’s an incredible escape from reality that everyone needs once in awhile.
- Look good, feel good — I don’t care much for people who say women shouldn’t wear make-up. If covering up your blemishes, wearing mascara and putting on some lip gloss makes you feel confident enough to take over the world…then DO IT. Post a selfie. Say hello to the babe in your Communications class. Remind those who lost you what they’re missing (it was their mistake, anyway.) Pamper yourself! Try a face mask (homemade or store bought — both work wonders!), put together a cute outfit you’ve never worn before, paint your nails, get a wax, change your hair, get a new piercing, take a bath and light some candles, drink a glass of wine (or four) and watch Sex and the City with your best buds. It always helps to have Beyonce encouraging you in the background, too. Look at yourself in the mirror at the beginning and end of each day and tell yourself that Adam Levine would be head over heels if you ever locked eyes.
- Be healthy and stay organized — Even if you’re the “messy type”, you’ll feel a sense of empowerment when you have your life together. Not to mention you won’t be constantly stressed out once your to-do list is no longer a to-do book. Plus, worrying causes wrinkles and ladies, we CANNOT let that happen. Keep your home, your mind and your body clean. Write your research paper days before it’s due. This is advice coming from the queen of procrastination, so trust me when I say it’s best to just get it out of the way. However, be sure you’re pursuing a career that you enjoy. Doing research and reading textbooks on something you’re passionate about makes it much more tolerable. Plan out healthy meals for the week so it’s less of a chore, and make hitting the gym a habit. Studies show that gym rats experience an increase in productivity and mood.
- Find something to believe in — Whether you are religious or not, there’s always a faith to have. If you believe in a higher, spiritual power, then pray and study. Read scriptures and quotations that you choose to live by. Repeat them throughout the day and find strength in their meaning. On the other hand, some people believe we are in charge of our own destiny and in complete control of what we face. In either situation, keep your motives and your future in mind. It’ll show in your actions and your words. Confidence in your ability to have a satisfying future is key to believing in and loving yourself for years to come.
Like the always inspirational Drake once said, “Know yourself, know your worth.” Treat yourself as you would want a relationship partner to treat you. If you would never tell a significant other or a close friend that their acne is disgusting and they'll never be loved, don't say it to yourself either! What other people think of you is none of your business. When you love yourself, the world will follow. Forget how selfish it sounds, you are the most important person in your life. Know the difference between being selfish and being selfless. You cannot change other people, but you can change yourself. That is all the power you need in the world. Keep your head up and your crown straight.
