Whether you're moving into a college dorm with a complete stranger or leasing your first apartment with your best friend of 15 years, living with another person can be challenging. Here are seven tricks of the trade to be a better roommate:
1. Passive-Aggression will never solve anything.
We all know someone who avoids confrontation by making not-so-subtle comments about what's bothering them, purposely walks around mumbling under their breath while stomping with the force of an elephant, or replies with a chilling "nothing" when asked what is wrong.
Don't be that person.
If your roommate does something that bothers you, (polite) honesty is always the answer. Nothing will ever get solved by giving the cold shoulder, and it may only make things worse. Communication is key, and it will make life so much easier for everyone involved. Speaking of communication...
2. Post-it Notes are not a sufficient form of communication.
Unless you are leaving your roommate a loving note telling them to have a good day or leaving a note on the door to let them know you've stepped out for the evening, verbal communication is always your best option. If you are bothered by the action(s) of your roommate(s), use your words, not your ink. Part of being an adult is being able to articulate your thoughts in an effective and polite manner, and now is the time to start putting that theory to practice.
3. Be courteous when having guests over.
Especially if you're living and sleeping in the same room as someone else, it is especially important to be courteous when deciding who/ when someone is coming over or staying the night. Some things to consider include:
Time: If it's 2:00 A.M. and your roommate is fast asleep, now is probably not the time to have a six-person party in your room. Let them sleep; your friends can wait until tomorrow. You are absolutely allowed and entitled to a social life, just make sure the timing is appropriate. The general rule of thumb is if you wouldn't want to be put into a particular situation yourself, do not put your roommate in that situation.
Intention: If you're having a significant other over, make sure your roommate knows. Some people can be uncomfortable having someone of the opposite sex stay the night, and it is especially important to know what your roommate is comfortable with. And please, please, please... if your roommate is present, do not engage in private affairs.
4. If you take something, be prepared to give it back.
I cannot count how many times I have heard of one roommate eating an entire box of the other roommate's food, using all of the hand soap in the bathroom, or using the whole bottle of laundry detergent without replacing it. The first way to avoid any problems is to simply ask. If you notice your roommate eats a banana every single morning, don't just take the last one without asking. Secondly, if you do happen to use the last of someone else's goods, or something the entire room/ suite/ apartment shares, make sure to replace it. It's just the right thing to do, people!
5. Accept each other's differences and be willing to compromise.
No matter how similar you and your roommate(s) may be, no two people are exactly the same. One person might like sleeping with the lamp on, and the other might like to sleep with the room completely pitch black. Meet in the middle and maybe invest in some dimly-lit twinkle lights. Chances are you and your roommate will have some friends in common, but you will also have friends that are completely different. Accept them for who they are and let your roommate go out without you every once in a while. Although you might be close, you do not have to be attached at the hip. Embracing each other's differences will only enhance your experience.
6. Do not micro-manage.
When roommates are polar opposites, it might be easy to fall into the habit of trying to parent your roommate. Some people will inevitably refuse to get out of bed nearly every morning to go to class, while others will wake up early and brave the walk/drive to class even in a blizzard of catastrophic proportions. If you are the former, do not try to drag your over-achieving roommate down to your level of laziness. If they are sick as a dog and really have no need to go to class, of course it is perfectly acceptable to gently coax them into staying in bed because you care about their health. However, if they are hell-bent on going to class for whatever reason, let them do what they please. If you are the latter, do not nag your roommate into getting out of bed to the point where they might want to scream. Yes, they should go to class. Yes, it is acceptable to prod them with, "are you suuuurrreee you want to stay in bed?" No, it is not acceptable to rip off their covers and douse them in cold water. It's their loss.
7. Make time for each other and offer your help.
At the end of the day, life can be downright stressful. Few things are better than going home to your roommate, downing a sleeve of Oreo's while you two share your complaints of the day and laugh at the movie playing in the background on T.V. Support each other on the bad days. Praise each other on the good days. Whether you like it or not, you're stuck breathing the same air and living in the same space as this person. You might as well make the most of it.
