Starting college is a time of firsts: your first time being on your own, your first all-nighter, your first unfulfilling meal of Ramen. It’s also your first roommate, and there’s lots of ups and downs, learning curves, and messes you and your new roommate have to get through in order to survive the year.
You first meet, and you’re not quite sure how to act. Maybe you met at orientation, maybe you found each other online, or maybe you walked into the room not knowing a thing about them. No matter how well you know them, you’re nervous about moving away from home and anxious about them not liking you, so you try your best to impress them. This usually ends up with you coming off too perfect and then they’ll be disappointed when you forget to change your socks for three days.
You have only three options for meals: you either cook, get free food from campus, or you starve. Since there’s only free pizza during Welcome Week and you require food at least every three hours, you have to cook. Which in my experience has involved many ruined pans, a moldy fridge of vegetables I convinced myself I’d eventually eat, and a few popcorn bags that literally set on fire. Also, don’t put Pop-Tart wrappers in the microwave unless you want a fireworks show.
You have to get used to their schedule, and savor those moments when you have your place to yourself. That is, until you weren’t actually alone, and walked out of your room while belting Adele in your underwear. Usually at the same time your roommate has a study group over. Or, you accidentally walk into the bathroom and they're standing there in all their naked glory.
Speaking of schedules, you have to make a clear plan on when to shower, because if you try to shower while they’re using water in any way whatsoever, the shower will become negative twenty degrees, you’ll freeze midway through your choreographed Beyoncé dance, and die a slow and painful death by ice rain.
There’s always the inevitable time when their mess gets in the way of your mess and then your two messes combine to make a deadly mountain of beer cans, empty bowls, and socks. You must thus begin the semi-annual cleaning of the room. Also, it’s good to note that there is a difference between dishwasher soap and dish soap that you put in the dishwasher (but the suds that pour out clean the floor nicely).
Once you’re finally comfortable with your roommate, they tell you that their parents are coming for the weekend. Not only do you have to clean you room so it doesn’t look like you live in a dumpster, but you also have to clean yourself up to look (and act) like a good influence.
Not only do you have to meet your roommate’s family, but you also have to meet their friends. You can be the coolest person in the world, but no matter what, when your roommate goes to the bathroom and you’re forced to entertain their friends, you turn into a moron who can only talk about weird things, like birds. Or cheese.
Living in close quarters with another person can lead to them being a tad overwhelmed by your ever-so-wonderful self, and they need to have some alone time. You try not to be offended and go off to your side of the room, pretending that your sniffling is from allergies and definitely not from them wanting to watch HGTV alone.
However, sometimes you just don’t care about their alone time and must force them to hang out with you. The upside to having a roommate is that you always have somebody to the toga party or split a pizza with.
As I said, college is a time for many firsts, including the first time you’re sick away from home. And if your roommate gets sick, you’ll inevitably become sick too. The downside: you’re both quarantined and sharing box after box of Kleenex. The upside: lots of time to bond between sneezes while binge-watching “Breaking Bad” for the third time.
Finals week, or really any week that involves a test, presentation, going to class, or getting out of bed, means that you deserve to treat yourselves. You two can talk about what you’d like to be doing instead of going to college while sipping wine coolers and eating cold four-day-old french fries, helping each other cope with the harsh reality that is school.
You’ll probably have a fight or two, usually about something unimportant and definitely about something stupid. And since you have to keep the peace and be civil, your fighting sounds like what two five-year-olds would say if they were fighting over a Barbie.
Every time you go back home, you realize you have to deal with all the members of your family in one house instead of just one person, and you miss your roommate more than you miss having no curfew.
You and your roommate are just struggling to figure out life, and maybe being together can make being an adult a tad more bearable. You may not figure it all out, but at least you’re having fun while trying.
