I find it extremely hard to explain what it's like to be depressed to people who are not depressed. This is especially a result of people thinking depressed is a fleeting emotion like "sad" or "happy," but, in fact, being depressed is a constant. It’s possible to go into depressive episodes that are tougher than others times, but living with depression means just that — doing everything with your depression. It’s like having your own little buddy attached to your hip at all times... kinda like an octopus.
Here’s how my depression is like an octopus.
1. My depression suctions on for dear life.
It attaches itself to me, clings on, and will most likely never let go — just like the suction of an octopus. It’s not always necessarily doing something. Sometimes, my depression is just there, present in my day to day life. Other times, it may act up and make itself a bit more obvious, but for the most part, it's just attached to me through everything — the good and the bad.
2. It “inks” up when scared.
Much like octopuses, my depression has a tendency to react negatively to most situations, especially scary and stressful ones. It creates an inky layer all around me and sometimes that even affects those closest to me. The ink will go away in time; it just makes things difficult and a little unnavigable for a while.
3. Depression can reach in many directions.
Just like the way octopuses have 8 tendrils and can reach in any direction, my depression somehow can do the same trick. It can reach and poke at my work, friends, family, school, sleep schedule, interests/hobbies, hygiene, and household chores all at once.
4. There are over 200 species of octopi…
and there a ton of different types of depression. Sometimes depression comes paired with anxiety, PTSD, or another mental illness. Other times, it takes the form of its own specific breed… like manic depression (otherwise known as bipolar disorder).
5. Octopuses and depression are both free-formed… and kinda squishy.
Octopuses are boneless, which allows them to be these little squishy beings that can take many different forms and adjust to their surroundings. Depression is pretty fluid, as well. It takes its own form depending on your environment. Being depressed in college is different than being depressed at home which is different than being depressed when traveling, etc. There’s no one certain way that depression is.
6. Depression has a way of squeezing out of tough places.
Even when you’re seeking treatment and basically taking your depression and putting it in a tiny box, it can still squish its way out sometimes… just like an octopus.
7. Sometimes an octopus may look cute and adorable, but they can be really dangerous.
Octopuses are often absolutely adorable… and sometimes depression has weird quirks that people like to romanticize. Modern media likes to paint mental illness as a cool personality trait or an attractive feature. However, we forge that octopi often have venom and can also be dangerous, just like depression which can truly ruin a person’s life.
Sometimes making metaphors and comparisons helps us to understand our own mental illness. For me, depression is like an octopus, but that’s the other thing-- depression happens differently for everyone. We all go through our own struggles and it’s hard to just label every person's diagnosis as the same.
If you or someone you know is finding it difficult to cope with their octopus/depression, don’t be afraid to reach out. You can find more information by clicking this link.
Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
