We've all heard about the current economic climate. We all know, as current college students, that no matter what career field you pick, baby boomers are retiring older, and you need 3 years unpaid experience to get an entry level job in your career field of choice.
So, what do you do now with that fancy piece of paper that you went into debt for life for? Well, my good friend, that's where we can help
1. Take it Out on a Fancy Date
Since you're so busy job searching that you don't have time for a significant other, nor time to find one, when the loneliness creeps ever closer, you can always take your Diploma out to your "this is my last $500" fancy dinner date! The best part is, your degree won't eat much, since it's paper and is reflective of all of your interests, so you'll never be bored
2. Cry on it
When that first student loan bill comes in, you aren't going to be able to afford tissues for at least the next 9 years. You can just mop up your tears on your degree instead. I mean, you didn't pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for a useless piece of paper, and since it can't find you a job, you might as well put it to some use
3. Expensive Kindling
When the inevitable zombie apocalypse hits the planet, the world's paper supply will definitely shorten. With that in mind, you can always burn your degree as kindling to start a fire that will eventually get you found by zombies.
4. Extra Paper
Need to write down your schedule for McDonald's? Unsuccessfully tried to memorize the Starbuck's secret menu? Forgot when you scheduled your dentist appointment? Well, thankfully, you have an extra sheet of paper lying around now!
5. A Hiding Spot
Of course, we all need to buckle down and get a roommate or two after college. Therefore, the glass casing on your degree can serve as a great hiding spot for the last $10 you have to your name from your roommates that are also poor from their multi-thousand dollar degrees.
6. Hold It Over Your Sibling's Head, Literally And Figuratively
Whenever you argue with your younger sibling, you can always, always pull the "I know more than you, I have degree. I went to college!" and you can proudly display that worthless piece of paper and have your baby sibling concede to you. Until they graduate from college themselves and figure out everything you told them about being an adult is a lie.
7. A Conversation Piece
Whenever your family gets bored at gatherings and holidays, they always have your useless degree to turn to for conversation! "Honestly, I tried to tell him that medical school was going to be too hard for him." "Why didn't anyone tell her she can't find a job with a liberal arts degree anymore." "See? I bet you were wishing you majored in computer science now! Hahaha," and so on. Your family will never run out of ways to bash the fact that you can't find a job in your chosen career field, and will have something to talk about at every function from then there on, until the Baby Boomers retire or something.
With all that in mind, keep working hard and studying up for finals. We're on the homestretch now, and need to keep up the good work if we want the multifaceted tool that is a Bachelor's Degree.
Happy Studying!
