When I graduated from college almost two years ago, I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do with my life. Sure, I had a basic idea of what I thought I wanted, but what I truly wanted… well that was basically a mystery. I knew that I loved to write, enjoyed social media, and was generally interested in event planning after some of my past work and school experiences had included it. But like I said, I just didn’t know how to put the pieces together. I solved that mystery eventually, but not before I stumbled into wedding planning.
A few months into my newfound school-less (and jobless) freedom — after trying (and failing) to break into the working world of a professional — I decided to play my hand and see if I could win by helping to plan events. So I did some research — props to Minnesota Bride’s vendor directory/Bible. I’m pretty positive that I ended up scoping out almost every wedding planner in the Twin Cities that was still on the market. I updated my resume, sent out inquiries, and ended up hearing back from a business that was hiring around the time that I had reached out. I interviewed, got the position, and before I knew it I had a position as a Seasonal Event Specialist at Mi Mi Design (shout out to Amy Red and Amy Blonde). This is my second season with them currently and I’ve learned a lot — not only about wedding planning, but about life.
Here’s seven things that working in the wedding industry has taught me:
1. Anything can always go wrong.
Things can go missing, dresses can be ruined, rain can fall relentlessly, and bridesmaids can get too drunk. Sometimes shit just happens, but it’s how you handle those last-minute, pain-in-the-butt problems that really matters. The ability to problem solve and think off your feet is an important skill to have, but not everyone can do it as well as wedding planners. They take gust of wind crises and make them look like a breeze. Of course, they’re only human so these situations are never pleasant and would rather be avoided, but they don’t quit when the going gets tough — they find a way around it. I find that level of determination to be a rather hard thing for most people to hold onto, especially when you feel like you’re in the center of a disaster movie. But the good thing about real life, is that you get to write your own script; you get to be the one who determines whether or not your actions will have a positive or negative impact in defining who you are.
2. People will not always say “Thank you.”
At times your hard work is going to go underappreciated, or not appreciated at all. You won’t always get the credit you deserve, and though this may seem unfair, sometimes there’s nothing you can do about it. Planning and executing a wedding is tremendously hard work, and even though the many wedding planners of the world would love, and absolutely deserve, to get the obvious praise that they’ve earned, sometimes they don’t. That’s not to say that’s always the situation, most of the time that’s untrue- just like it is in life. Most people are going to appreciate the work that you put in, but there’s always that chance they won’t. People are uniquely different- we each think differently, feel differently, and were raised differently; some people may shower you with gratitude, while others are not even going to bat an eyelash. There’s no true right answer, just the one that you’re comfortable with.
3. Nothing is as glamorous as it appears to be.
Every job has its positives and negatives, there isn’t a single one out there that’s perfect. The same can be said about life. In our minds it’s easy to create the picture perfect idea in our minds that the grass is greener on the other side, but we’re all human, and we all face challenges in our life. The joy is what makes the hardships eventually worth it. Celebrities seem to live perfect lives, but do they really? Maybe some do, but I think a lot of them are far from it. Making an event flow just perfectly, to be set up just right, and to appear effortless takes hours, days, and weeks of preparation. The setup of a wedding doesn’t just happen in the blink of an eye — it takes time and it’s not always glamorous, but I consider the work meaningful and the end results are always stunning. Every job is not as perfect as you think it is, all that matters is finding one that fits with your values, lifestyle, and passion.
4. Small is in style.
Small things take time to be great, and there’s no such thing as a small part. These tasks may be tedious, but they’ll always be worth it in the end. The small and little things in life are what shape you into yourself, and are what define you as a person. If you choose to sit out and don’t participate in the small things in life you are 100 percent going to miss out on something amazing. Each flower in every wedding has to be prepped, cut, cleaned, and sometimes even fluffed. These flowers represent something small, but in reality are much larger. The effort to style them is larger. Each lantern that lines a hallway and each glowing candles requires multiple people to get it right which makes these tasks more important than a person might assume. The small things in life are easy to forget about and brush aside, but my role in these weddings has reminded me how important they actually are.
5. Even the pretty things have to die.
I know, this one sounds bleak, but don’t worry, it gets lighter. For me, personally, I’ve had a habit of wanting to hang onto certain things in my life that I knew weren’t going to last. And when I was right, and they evaporated, I was left with that hole-in-the-heart feeling. Holding onto things that you know are going to hurt you is unhealthy, no matter how heartbreaking it is to let them go. Once a wedding is completed, and if the guests don’t decide to take home some of the floral, it basically just has to be thrown away. On my first wedding, I was so saddened to see such beautiful flowers go to waste, but as the time kept on I learned to not be bothered by it anymore. Sure, the flowers are breathtaking, but it’s important to learn that sometimes you have to let go of the things that can’t be kept forever. I wish that I could make them last, I really do, along with all of the other miraculously indescribable things in this world, but that’s just not reality. I would consider myself both optimistic and pessimistic in life. I take home the flowers when I can, and toss them when I can’t. I still feel a pang of sadness when I have to throw away the wedding floral, but I know there’s always a new bouquet of roses around the corner.
6. It’s important to have people that have your back.
This one is pretty obvious, but when the going gets tough you need someone who is going to be there to support you and fix the problem. There is no feasible way to be a team when one of the members won’t give their full effort. When those crises hit, it’s always better to have someone there than to go it alone. Sometimes, things need to be handled solely, but having support is never going to be a bad thing. I never have one doubt in my mind that the members of Mi Mi don’t have my back, and they know that I have theirs. Being a part of a team is almost like being a part of a family and everyone deserves that same level of trust and respect. It’s so important to have people in life that support you, who don’t knock you down or make you feel bad about the person you are or have become. Being you is good enough.
7. There are such things as happy endings.
Cliche, I know — but it’s true. I’m a hopeless romantic who still believes in love, even when it bites me in the ass. I’m basically hardwired to believe in happy endings, or at least realistic versions of them. Weddings are built on happy endings. They’re events created out of love and are meant to share and spread love and happiness, as well as the promise of forever. Though that love may not always last and that promise can always open-endedly be broken (especially in this day and age), my time observing these weddings from the outside has confirmed that the pure kind of love so many people never find, does in fact exist. Each bride and groom (or groom and groom, bride and bride) in the Twin Cities successfully achieved their happy ending, thanks in part to the two wedding planners who fought so hard to make their day sensational, and that makes me believe. It’s times like that, when you get to observe and help produce such a significant moment in other people’s lives, that can make you take a step back and look at your own life more closely. I’m happy with my search for a happy ending so far; are you?
