1. "Why don't you study something that's you know, useful?"

I'm sorry but please shut up. Philosophers know how to think, which tends to be, you know, handy. You can’t avoid philosophy…so it would be wise to study it properly.

2. "You can't get a job with that."

Actually, I can. I could make the same argument with your major in this economy.

3. "That sounds like a fun, easy major."

The one intro class you took isn't an accurate representation of what's it like to be a Philosophy major.

4. "So if a tree falls down in the middle of a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make sound?"

You're getting ontology and epistemology confused. Please don't ask me that.

5. "So like, do you get high all the time?"

No, actually. Weirdly enough, I am fully capable of debating the meaning of life in my 9:30am existentialism class without being high.

6. "So, what is the meaning of life?"

....I just have no comment for this one, that depends on your personal beliefs.

7. "So, like Ockham's razor?"

I don't even understand what you're attempting to ask me with that question.