If These 45 College Majors Had Their Own Slogans

If These 45 College Majors Had Their Own Slogans

We all think it, we just didn't tell you it at orientation.
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As the month of August comes to an end, it means millions of students are getting ready to head off to college. For the upperclassmen, it means another year of trying to survive the classes, but for the new freshman...well, they don't really know what to expect.

College is basically a bunch of specialized schools that are right next to each other with the occasional food place in between buildings. Like in high school, there were rivalries between neighboring schools, so it is no surprise that neighboring colleges within the same university trash talk each other. Here are 45 college majors and the slogans they would be as told by their rivals.

1. Linguistics

"Why learn to speak foreign languages when you can learn about them!"

2. Microbiology

"Never be comfortable at a party ever again!"

3. Industrial Engineering

"Everything is just so inefficient."

4. Agriculture

"It’s all tractors and corn until you have to remember the algebra and science you thought you would never see after your 8th-grade science class ended."

5. Information Technology

"You like working with computers, but hate the people that use them."

6. Chemistry

"The only place alcohol is a solution."

7. Political Science

"Your opinion is wrong…"

8. Aerospace Engineering

"It really is rocket science."

9. Structural Engineering

"Because architects don’t know what physics is."

10. Communications

"You will learn about how to convince everyone that your degree is actually meaningful."

11. Criminal Justice



"We are here because we watch Law & Order."

12. Counseling

Hiding our baggage while we help you deal with your own!

13. Pre-med

I’ll probably switch to nursing in 2 years…

14. Marine Biology

"Come for the dolphins but leave studying algae and ecology."

15. Art History

"And you thought making art was pointless..."

16. Civil Engineering

"For the last time, we are not architects!"

17. Physics

"Everything you learned last week was wrong."

18. Psychology

"Good luck doing anything until you have a master's degree!"

19. Biochemistry

"You thought you’d help cure cancer but you are actually making soaps."

20. Engineering

"Because you were good at math and science."

21. Mathematics

"I just want to be a math teacher..."

22.History

“So do you want to teach, or…?”

23. Creative Writing

"You can throw job security out the window."

24. Accounting

"Give us a ton of money to show the government you aren’t sketchy."

25. Finance

"Accounting was just too hard for me."

26. Meteorology

"Nobody will listen to your forecasts but will say you’re wrong anyway."

27. Environmental Science

"It is SOIL, not dirt!"

28. Anthropology



"No, we are not the ones who dig things up…"

29. Archaeology

"We don't dig things up either..."

30. Paleontology

"No, digging dinosaurs up isn’t the only thing we do."

31. Statistics

32. Law

"You get paid to worry for your clients, and your six figures of student load debt give you great practice."

33. Philosophy

"I think; therefore, I am unemployable."

34. Mechanical Engineering

"I've only used a drill like twice, but here is how you have to build your jet engine..."

35. Music

"They go from bar to bar."

36. Wildlife Ecology

"Trading income for adventure since 1864."

37. Computer Science

“So uh can you fix my-“

“No, I probably don’t know how to fix your computer.”

38. Business Management

“My dad told me to come here and he’s paying for it so I just kinda went with it.”

39. Social Work

"No, we are not baby stealers."

40. Nursing

"Where every answer is right, but you are somehow still wrong."

41. Education

Its not about being right, it's about being right.

42.Graphic Design

"No, I won't make your logo for free."

43. Sports Management

"Because when you're an athlete physical education is too predictable."

44. Business

"When your parents want you to go to college and grow up but all you want to do is party."

45. Art History

"Prepare to be baroque."

Cover Image Credit: betches.com

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Let's Be Wise Owls In The New Year

Taking time to fly.
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As most college students know, there is a month-long break in the middle of the semester used for visiting family and friends, picking up extra hours at work, and most confusingly, taking an entire class within the span of four weeks.

I’ve always struggled with the idea of getting the same amount of credits for a shorter class in an even smaller period of time. Repeatedly have my professors been unable to finish our material due to a lack of time, or false confidence in our class' ability to understand and retain information.

Even worse, I’ve grown into an aging, spiteful Amazon book reseller when my textbooks go unused. If every class was a month long, imagine how many different things we could learn in a shorter period of time (kind of like the way a syllabus is set up, except this time there will be no interruptions).

I know you’re wondering, “what about scheduling?” (cause we’re all sticklers for the rules). My response to that is there’s a reason I’m not working as a Registration Advisor (let the dream live on).

As 2018’s spring semester begins, I reminisce about the activities that filled my time: binge-watching "The Crown," dragging myself to work, spending time with family, jet-setting to London, reading a strange but recommended book of poetry about a princess (google it), and most of all, taking time to relax and breathe.

We all want to be the smartest one in the room, whether it's creatively, academically, or criminally, and taking time to breathe and then dive into the madness is a good thing. Imagine, a robber prioritizing by month when to complete the heist; “January is recon, February is when I’ll land the security guard position, March, I just want to make best employee, so let’s go for the money in April.”

With pacing, prioritizing, and patience, we can influence the course of events from now until December.

Cover Image Credit: Joie Mitchell

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A Letter to My 13 Years Old Self

If you only knew
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If there were things I could've told you back then, trust me I would've. Like even though ninth grade might've felt like the worst year of your life, senior year wouldn't turn out to be all that much better. I guess it's true that things always come full circle. I would've told you that you'd get denied from your top choice college, but the one you'd end up in is for a reason. Even though you'll be nervous at first, you'll end up loving it.

There are a lot of things I've learned since I was 13. Like how to love yourself even when everything feels like its going wrong. Also, when you find the right people, surround yourself with them because they'll only encourage you to prosper and bloom into a better person than you were the day before. That even if most of the people in high school kinda (definitely) suck, you'll make amazing new real friends your first week of college.

If I could've told you that the brown-eyed boy with braces you met on Halloween when you were 14 would completely change your life a few years later, I definitely would have. If I could've told you that things can always get worse, no matter how bad they get, I would've until you believed me. Because even if things get bad, or really bad, there's always something better around the bend, you just have to get there.

Things change. A lot. People change, places change, thoughts change, you'll change. Everything changes and sometimes its for the better and sometimes its not, but thats part of the beauty of figuring your life out. Right now, you want to be a journalist or even maybe a zoologist (until your mom told you that was silly, turns out she was right). You hate science and math now, but in a few years you'll be majoring in environmental engineering and even making the Dean's List.

My point of this is that you're going to feel defeated a lot in your life, but every time you'll just come back stronger and conquer more than anyone expected you to. You'll spend your life proving people wrong and surprising them with just how much you can actually accomplish in this little time we have here on Earth. Things will get hard and sometimes you'll fail, but as long as you try again and learn from the experience, you'll always succeed eventually.


Cover Image Credit: Photo by Joanna Kosinska on Unsplash

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