As the month of August comes to an end, it means millions of students are getting ready to head off to college. For the upperclassmen, it means another year of trying to survive the classes, but for the new freshmen...well, they don't really know what to expect.
College is basically a bunch of specialized schools that are right next to each other with the occasional food place in between buildings. Like high school, there are rivalries between neighboring schools, so it is no surprise that neighboring colleges within the same university trash talk each other. Here are 45 college majors and the slogans they would be as told by their rivals.
"Why learn to speak foreign languages when you can learn about them?"
"Never be comfortable at a party ever again!"
3. Industrial Engineering
"Everything is just so inefficient."
"It's all tractors and corn until you have to remember the algebra and science you thought you would never see after your eighth-grade science class ended."
5. Information Technology
"The only place alcohol is a solution."
7. Political Science
"Your opinion is wrong…"
8. Aerospace Engineering
"It really is rocket science."
9. Structural Engineering
"Because architects don't know what physics is."
"You will learn about how to convince everyone that your degree is actually meaningful."
11. Criminal Justice
"We are here because we watch 'Law & Order.'"
Hiding our baggage while we help you deal with your own!
I'll probably switch to nursing in two years…
14. Marine Biology
"Come for the dolphins but leave studying algae and ecology."
15. Art History
"And you thought making art was pointless..."
16. Civil Engineering
"For the last time, we are not architects!"
"Everything you learned last week was wrong."
"Good luck doing anything until you have a Master's degree!"
"You thought you'd help cure cancer but you are actually making soaps."
"Because you were good at math and science."
"I just want to be a math teacher..."
“So do you want to teach, or…?"
23. Creative Writing
"You can throw job security out the window."
"Give us a ton of money to show the government you aren't sketchy."
"Accounting was just too hard for me."
"Nobody will listen to your forecasts but will say you're wrong anyway."
27. Environmental Science
"It is SOIL, not dirt!"
"No, we are not the ones who dig things up…"
"We don't dig things up either..."
"No, digging dinosaurs up isn't the only thing we do."
"You get paid to worry for your clients, and your six figures of student loan debt gives you great practice."
"I think, therefore, I am unemployable."
34. Mechanical Engineering
"I've only used a drill like twice, but here is how you have to build your jet engine..."
"They go from bar to bar."
36. Wildlife Ecology
"Trading income for adventure since 1864."
37. Computer Science
“So, uh, can you fix my..."
“No, I probably don't know how to fix your computer."
38. Business Management
“My dad told me to come here and he's paying for it so I just kinda went with it."
39. Social Work
"No, we are not baby stealers."
"Where every answer is right, but you are somehow still wrong."
It's not about being right, it's about being right.
"No, I won't make your logo for free."
43. Sports Management
"Because when you're an athlete, physical education is too predictable."
"When your parents want you to go to college and grow up but all you want to do is party."
45. Art History
"Prepare to be baroque."