Humans spend years learning how to speak, form coherent sentences, and verbally share thoughts and opinions. We spend roughly a quarter of our life in school, where we are forming social connections with others. We seek out people to relate to, that can understand us. However, after all that hard work, and after all the time spent developing these bonds, we are quick to ruin it with a few different types of remarks and actions.
1. Sarcasm
There's a time and a place for sarcasm, and many people don't know when that is. When everyone is laughing and having a good time or when the conversation is light, it can work. However, when the topic of discussion is serious, when people are sensitive to certain situations, or when someone is courageously speaking out, you do not insert your snarky remarks.
2. Ignoring the Other Person
The conversation may not make you happy, it may not be something of interest to you, but it matters to the other person(s) in the discussion. Why else would this dialogue be happening?
Ignoring someone when they are speaking to you is rude. It can anger someone, which is never fun, but it can also really hurt someone. Sometimes, all a person needs is to be heard, they need someone who will listen. When your partner in conversation doesn't respond or pay any sort of attention, you feel as though what you have to say doesn't matter or isn't important. And, who wants to feel like that?
3. "You are wrong."
Probably one of the quickest ways to annoy or anger someone is to blatantly tell them they're wrong. Everyone is entitled to her/his opinion. Even if the individual is indeed wrong, there is a way of going about telling them that isn't as disrespectful as this. If you wan't to make matters even worse, tack on an "I'm right," afterwards and the discussion will become even more heated.
4. Constant Interruptions
Another way to build tension between people is interrupting every other sentence spoken by an individual. Most people like to get out their entire thought before another person speaks. So, when someone forces you to abandon your train of thought (even if only briefly), it can be frustrating.
Yes, you want to make sure everyone hears what you have to say, but the person speaking may agree with you, and they may even be getting to the point that you want to make. Either nod in agreement when they make that point, or make it yourself once the individual is finished speaking. People struggle the most when the person speaking doesn't agree at all with them. The solution? Make your point after she/he is finished speaking, or, if the conversation ends before you are able to speak, keep quiet and go about your day. Either you will get to speak on the topic at a later, more appropriate time, or the topic won't be worth discussing and fretting over and you'll forget about it.
5. Eye Rolling
This is probably one of the most annoying things people can do. So much can be said with an eye roll. "You are so dumb." "Just shut up already." "This is ridiculous." The list of messages that can be sent with an eye roll are virtually endless. Oftentimes, the intended message isn't positive, and it isn't clear to the recipient. If you want to stay friends, don't roll your eyes.
*And, most especially, if you want to keep from getting an adult spanking from your mother, lose the sass.
6. Saying What the Other Person Wants to Hear
In theory, this one doesn't sound too bad. The common excuse for this is that if one does/says [insert undesired topic here] then she/he will get what she/he wants. However, when attempting to have a scholarly conversation, saying what the other person wants to hear doesn't push the discussion forward. Nothing new and exciting is discovered, and the dialogue is rather short.
7. Declaring Your Expertise
"I'm a [insert professional title], I know what I'm talking about." It's a bothersome phrase that often incites the aforementioned eye roll. If you are as skilled as you say, others should be able to tell or already know this. In this case, let your actions show your knowledge, not your words. Basically: don't brag.
Trying to avoid these conversation habits can be difficult. Reminding yourself that you care about the other person, that you want to be treated just as they treat you, and that you want to remain friends are good starting points.
