Recently, I've had to cut ties with a long-term friend. We were close for years and although it felt like we had a great relationship, when she showed me her true colors, I believed her and realized she wasn’t worth my time anymore. Saying goodbye to anyone is never easy, especially a friend you've been close to for so long... someone you truly valued.
One of the hardest things to do is to cut ties with someone you love so much, but that you know doesn't benefit you or your life. It’s especially hard when you think they’re capable of changing, or when you question that maybe it’s not as bad as you think, or you’re just overreacting.
Even though it may be hard at the time and for some time after, cutting ties with a bad friend will strengthen you and your life in the long run, because you’re choosing to stick up for yourself and disassociate yourself from the negativity in your life.
Here are seven sure signs that it's time to cut ties with a bad friend:
1. You feel like you're giving your all, and they've given nothing.
When you're the one making the plans, sending all of the texts and keeping up the friendship, this is a sure time that it's time to cut ties with him or her. No one wants to feel like they give their all and get nothing in return. Choose to not be friends with people like this because every relationship should have an equal amount of give and take, and when it doesn’t, they aren’t a true friend anyway.
2. You can't ask for their advice or help.
When you don't feel comfortable asking for their advice with something in your life, they aren't there for you and they never listen to you, you can be sure that this will most likely not change. Everyone deserves to have friends that they can go to for advice or just someone who will listen when you need them. When a friend does not provide this, you can consider them a bad friend, because after all, being there for someone is one of the key parts of being in a friendship.
3. They never ask you how that interview went, or how that first day of your new job was.
When they never care to ask you how the major events were in your life that you had mentioned, why would you want to be friends with them? You deserve friends who are always going to wish you good luck, support you, and show that they care through asking how things are going, and keeping up with your life and things that are important to you. This is a large part of a good friendship that bad friends don’t do. Consider cutting ties.
4. They don't have good conversations with you unless they're centered around them.
When the conversations you two have are constantly centered around them and their life, you can bet that this won't change either. Someone who is self-centered is not a good friend. Choose to distance yourself from people like this and find friends who care about you and your life too.
5. You feel like you have to change yourself when they're around because they don't accept you.
If they constantly judge you for the decisions you make, the things happening in your life or anything else about your character, this is a sure sign that you should cut ties. Being friends with people who don't support you or accept who you are are not worth your time. Friends like this only make us feel bad about ourselves, stress us out and make us feel like we have to change. Being a friend to someone means you accept them completely, without trying to change them, and you should never feel like you can't be yourself around someone you consider a friend. Cut ties and find better friends.
6. You've thought about it for a while.
If you've thought multiple times about cutting ties with this friend because issues keep arising, it may be time to pull the plug. Waiting around and letting yourself keep suffering through an unhealthy friendship will do no good. And trust me, if they've been like this for awhile, they will stay like this. Don't rely on the hope of them changing because they won't.
7. You've talked to them about it before, and they don't listen or understand.
If you've talked about the concerns that upset you and they don't listen or understand you, you should definitely consider cutting ties. Being friends with someone who doesn't listen to you or care to empathize with your feelings is a sure sign of a bad friend. You deserve to be friends with someone who cares enough to address your concerns and strengthen your relationship through working to solve these problems. Consider cutting ties if this person does not hear you out.
8. They go through friend after friend.
When someone constantly has new friends and can’t keep old ones, you can assume that if you’re feeling like they aren’t a good friend to you, other people feel the same way too. Consider cutting ties with someone who can never seem to keep friends.
And to the friend I finally had to let go, thank you. Thank you for showing me your true colors, that I deserve better friends, and that my life is more positive without your negativity in it.
