I live, for the most part, by myself in my apartment and I learned a few things about myself and what it’s like living on your own as a college student. If there is one thing I really learned about myself, it’s how much I absolutely LOVE Chinese takeout. Like, seriously guys, I’m pretty sure I’m addicted to the sweet and sour chicken; not to mention the delicious sesame chicken and fried rice… Anyway, if you’re like me, you are familiar with the signs- the tummy-rumbling signs that you are absolutely and irreparably addicted to Chinese takeout. If you aren’t familiar with these signs, I have happily listed them out for you.

1. Any day of the week, you catch yourself thinking about Chinese food, and wondering how long you can make the leftovers last.

2. You have not one, but two take-home menus in your possession.

3. You have the local Chinese restaurant number memorized, or at the very least you have it on speed dial.

4. When you have friends over, the first dinner idea that pops into your head is Chinese food, and when someone opposes this idea, you feel like it’s a personal attack to your very soul.

5. When you’re on the phone ordering the food crafted by the gods, you don’t even ask what the total will be (even if you’re a broke college student like myself) because you know no price can trump the deliciousness of General Tso’s chicken and egg rolls.

6. You probably have a couple vacuum cleaners for friends, and when they come over and ask if they can have some of your Chinese leftovers you suddenly feel very territorial and defensive. Sharing is caring, right? WRONG.

7. After reading this article, you’ve suddenly decided Chinese takeout is the perfect idea for dinner tonight. YOU’RE WELCOME.

If people recorded themselves eating Chinese food and compiled it into a two hour long movie, I’m pretty sure it would win an Academy Award. I don’t know what it is exactly that makes Chinese food so delicious, but it’s relatively healthy, cheap, plentiful and can be delivered. I’m sure if I kept track of how much money I’ve spent on Chinese food, I’d drop out of college, because, c’mon…priorities, guys. If I’m going to spend thousands of dollars on anything, it’s going to be on Chinese food, not calculus and annotated bibliographies.