Everyone likes food, but there is a huge difference between simply liking it and absolutely loving it. If you really love food, most people would describe you as a foodaholic, while others have tried to organize an intervention to confront your addiction.
Food is invariably by your side. It helps you cope with your problems, and it never judges you (despite the fact that remnants of your midnight snack can be found in the crevices of your sheets). In fact, food is the least demanding love you'll ever know, because you can stop whatever you are doing and devote time to eat on your terms.
It gets better: food nourishes the soul in ways shopping, traveling, and sex simply cannot. There is no denying good food is essential to life, and isn't that how you should feel about a soulmate?
1. You don't commit to any social event until you are 100 percent sure food will be provided.
After all, there's no other acceptable reason to crawl out of your warm bed, close your Netflix tab, and abandon your bag of chips.
2. Your heart drops a little when you receive a gift that is not edible.
3. "Hangry" is a real thing, and you experience it on a daily basis.
4. So you have a snack conveniently stored in your backpack, purse, or hoodie at all times.
5. Autocorrect constantly replaces "good" with "food" and visa versa.
They're basically interchangeable, right?
6. Your ideal date would involve the guy taking you out to dinner and paying for everything you managed to devour in 30 minutes.
Now that is true love.
7. When someone suggest grabbing pizza, you not only know the best place, but you also have the restaurant's number on speed dial.
(Krazy Karl's on Elizabeth: 970-224-2000)
8. Speaking of pizza, your proudest moment involves the time you ate an entire large pizza. By yourself. In one sitting.
Your reasoning being you ordered an entire pizza, so you might as well finish the damned thing.
9. When someone reaches for your food, you glare at them until they stand down and retreat.
10. You've never opted for the "low-fat" version of anything, and chances are, you never will.
Food was meant to be savored, so why opt for the "reduced" version?
11. And most importantly, you have never thought about going on a diet, because that would mean replacing everything you eat with leafy greens.
