Quick disclaimer from the outset: Autism is different for everyone it affects. This is not going to describe everyone on the spectrum, but it has held pretty true in my experience.
1. We Are Literally Human Cats
Just keep that in mind. It is hard to explain, there was this whole book about it, but we make a lot more sense if you just think of us as human cats.
2. For All That Is Good and Holy Do Not Touch Us With Out Fair Warning
This GIF is what we want to do when unexpected touch happens. Well-meaning adults have taught us when we were three years old that it is not socially acceptable. No, it is not something we just have grown out of over time, I still want to do this when I am touched unexpectedly. I just know life will be easier for me if I don't jump through a window forcing my loved ones to tie me down to a chair.
3. Nothing Personal, But Until You Prove Us Otherwise, We Assume We Are Smarter Than You
It is just easier that way. Have you ever tried to go about your day assuming your wrong all the time? It just gets exhausting after awhile. Really everyone should think they are the smartest person in the room until they aren't.
4. Remember Number 3? Forget That When It Comes To Social Situations or Basic Human Interaction
I'm sorry, did you just tell me I'm supposed to look them in the EYES? Why? That is really uncomfortable! What do you mean she was offended? All I did was explain to her why her firmly held beliefs were incorrect. I would apologize if I was wrong or my argument was logically inconsistent. Hold UP! Now you're messing with me. You want me to go to a school function, move around a little bit, talk with random people and listen to music I don't like? You made this up. What if I see someone I know? Should I ignore them? I feel like I should just ignore them.
5. We Are Emotionally Stunted
What does that mean? Well, we aren't sociopaths, we feel and respond to emotional actions, but on a very limited level. One of the symptoms of Autism is low Emotional Intelligence. Unless you explain to us how you feel, unless you really spell it out, we won't pick up on it and unless something extreme has happened we probably won't get emotional about the whole deal. We will have a reaction to it, we may even get worked up, but that is different than experiencing proper strong emotions. Most of the time we just feel fine. Neutral.
6. Do We Feel For You? No. But We Do Care.
It is important to understand that feelings just don't factor into the equation for us most of the time. No, we don't have an emotional investment in your now ended relationship, nor do we really get pumped about your new job you just landed, and we do not feel the pain when it comes to your freshly spilled milk. But you mean a lot to us so we will be helpful any way we can. Even if it is forced and awkward.
7. If You Want Us to Care: Spell It Out
If you say something like "My childhood pet died" normal people will hear "I am really upset about my childhood pet dying and could use some comfort right now." Unfortunately for you, we only hear "My childhood pet died" so, if you want us to understand "I am really upset about my childhood pet dying and could use some comfort right now" than please state in plain English "I am really upset about my childhood pet dying and could use some comfort right now." At which point please refer to number six.
8. You Are Incredibly Important
We are extraordinarily difficult to deal with and making new friends is just really hard. We don't need pity, we people who can tolerate prolonged regular interaction with us. And if you can do that you are truly one in a million. So, Thank you.
