I’ve always known how fortunate I am to have parents who are married. What I didn’t understand or appreciate fully until now was that my parents are happily married. That happiness makes all the difference. Here are the seven things they do that make them my relationship goals.
1. They do the little things.
My dad calls my mom to check in and ask what she wants for dinner the nights she works. He tries to clean up before she gets home from work when he has the time or when one of us kids is around to help. He does his best to cater to her gluten and milk allergies when he buys her chocolate or other treats. My mom has dinner ready, and usually a baked dessert too, when he gets home on her days off. She makes homemade (milk-free) ice cream or popcorn or caramel corn for them to snack on while they watch Netflix together. Just the fact that they watch an episode of something on Netflix every night together is small, but says a lot about them as a couple.
2. They make each other laugh.
They joke with each other. My dad will answer the phone in funny voices or pretend he's some restaurant taking her order. My mom picks on him for getting hangry. They give each other crap and then they take it, still laughing.
3. Fighting doesn't change how they feel about each other.
I know they don’t always get along; in fact, they get on each other’s nerves every day. When you're married for as long as they've been, you get to know all of each other's annoying habits. They've also had to make hard decisions together and there have probably been a few bad fights in the last 20 years. The thing is, even though they may argue and be frustrated by each other at times, that doesn’t ultimately affect how much they love each other.
4. They've grown together.
My parents started dating while my mom was still in high school, so they've a lot of different stages of life to navigate together. They went from being fun-loving young adults, a teenager in my mom's case, all the way to respective 40-something-year-olds with teenagers in or preparing for college. They've guided our growth and grew together at the same time. It can't have been easy, but they did it without losing how they felt about each other. That amazes me and gives me a lot of hope.
5. They make time for each other.
Like I already mentioned, they literally watch Netflix together every single night before bed. They run errands like going grocery shopping together. They go out with friends once in a while. They go kayaking on weekends, just the two of them. They even go on vacations together, leaving us kids at home. I want to be mad about their upcoming getaway, but I can't help but admire the way they're dropping everything for a few days just to get relaxing quality time.
6. They're supportive of each other.
Parents are doing great if they're super supportive of their kids, but what I'm realizing too is that married couples are doing great if they're super supportive of each other as well. And it really does make a big impression on your kids; I remember being five and spending a lot of time with my dad while he picked up slack for my mother who was earning a doctorate in pharmacy. I may not have gotten it then, but looking back at that time, I realize how lucky I am to have a dad who supported my mom and volunteered to take care of me and my brother when my mom was busy. And even now, my mom is starting her own business and my dad has started his own side business too, and they're behind each other every step of the way, through the good moments and the stressful ones.
7. They're still crazy about each other after over 20 years.
I'm gonna be blunt here: when they're together, it’s disgusting. They cuddle and kiss like teenagers. I used to kind of hate it because I thought it was embarrassing. Now, I can’t wrap my mind around the fact that they’ve literally been crazy about each other for over 20 years. That's really the highest relationship goal I can think of.
Mom and Dad, I look at you every day and know that if there is one thing as stable as the ground I’m walking on, it is your love for each other. More than providing me with a safe and happy environment growing up, you've provided me with the best example of a loving, supportive relationship. You guys may not understand what #goals are on social media, but you two definitely qualify.
