7 Questions Not To Ask A Graduating Senior In April

7 Questions Not To Ask A Graduating Senior In April

We are not ready to be adults and go out into the world.


This is the time when every college student is in a terrible panic. Everyone is trying to get their grades up or figure out what they're doing for the summer, or working on all of the papers, projects, presentations, speeches, research, or even general daily assignments that are all due on the same day. But seniors like me have a little bit more to deal with at this time of year. And a general consensus is that we really don't know how to do any of it. We are not ready to be adults and go out into the adult world. We are actually terrified. Sure there are those lucky few people who already have a job lined up (mostly education majors, from my experience. Jealous), but most of us are floundering. We're just trying to get through the last few weeks we have of college and do all of the same papers and projects that every other college kid is worried about. We really don't want to think about the fact that we should have made a plan to live somewhere after graduation or we should have been applying for jobs somewhere. No. We just want to be done. We just can't think about that right now. So here are some questions that might make a college senior that you love go from a barely held together person to ball of anxiety and stress curled up on the floor.

1. Where will you be living?

Honestly, the answer is probably going to be in my parents' basement. Let's be real. We don't have anything planned yet and we're just hoping that mom and dad will pull through for us until we can figure our shit out. Please don't remind us of that fact because we probably dislike the idea of living with mom and dad again more than you do.

2. Do you have a job lined up?

Finding a job is hard enough when you're not distracted by thesis papers, but at the end of our senior year of college we are definitely not concentrating on jobs because it's almost impossible to do both. So, please, don't ask.

3. Are you going to graduate school?

I think this gif says it all. We really don't know what our plans are for the future. If we haven't already been planning on graduate school for the whole year, you can probably assume that we won't be going in the coming fall. But anywhere after that, we just DON'T KNOW. The future is a sleeping beast that we don't really want to poke with a stick, so keep your voice down and don't wake it up.

4. What are you going to do with your major?

We would love to talk to you all about our dreams and aspirations for the future, but maybe not right now. We know what we dream of -- I dream of being an editor in a publishing house working on novels -- but these are dreams and that's are not what you're usually looking for when you ask this question, anyway. You want the realistic stuff, the stuff that we can actually see happening in the near future. But we literally can't see anything for us in the near future because our eyes are drooping closed from all of the all-nighters.

5. Are you going to make money doing that?

And if we do tell you about our dreams and everything that we hope to do with our major one day, then you ask this. Did you really think that this was a helpful question? Thanks for you the judgment, but I think I'll stick to my dreams and prove you wrong instead.

6. How are your grades?

Okay. Every college student hates this question. And seniors are no different. Our grades are falling and we are desperately trying to hold onto a door that's floating in the freezing ocean like Leonardo DiCaprio. (Can't you just let me up with you, Rose?)

7. Are you ready for graduation?

If you're really asking 'Are you ready to be done with all of this shit?' then the answer is yes. Definitely yes. But if what you're really asking is more along the lines of 'are you prepared to go into the real world?' then I have to say hell no. I've got way too many things to do before that happens and no time in which to do them. But thanks for your concern.

All-in-all this is our last year, last semester, and last month of being an undergraduate student. But mostly, we're too busy trying to get things done to even enjoy or be sad about that fact. And we definitely don't have any clue what our future holds, but we'll try like hell to finish out this school thing and actually make it to graduation. That's enough for us right now and you're probably just going to have to deal with it. You'll get answers to your questions as soon as we know the answers ourselves. Until then, be happy that we're actually going to graduate.

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