To all the tan goddess that have that natural dark glow, you will never know the struggle of pale people. Embrace your sun-kissed skin and accept that our alabaster skin does come in more than one shade...
1. Constantly buying and reapplying bottles of sunblock
Challenging the sun, this warrior is fully armed with SPF 50-100. These shoulders are not getting burned today! At least that’s what you tell yourself, causing you to reapply every hour or so, yet somehow you are still burnt all over. Sunblock is a necessity for any pale person not wanting to turn into a lobster during summer. Reapplying every hour because the water will wash it off and leave your pale skin exposed. But even if you never leave the shade and challenge the sun’s unforgiving rays, it is good to have sunblock just in case. You never know how much you can burn from the sunlight soaking through the leaves/umbrella.
2. Subtle tan lines that only you and other pale people can really see
Looking at my ivory pale skin it is hard to tell the difference from each shade of ivory and alabaster. They are really there! We promise. My leg is half a tint darker than my thigh that is covered by shorts. You can’t see it with your golden skin. Your glow is messing with your vision.
3. We have areas on our body that have never seen the light of day
Some people stomachs have never see sunlight and you never really understand why until one day you are blinded by the bright reflection radiating from their perfectly pale skin. Blinded, you finally understand why.
4. Sitting in the shade while everyone else tans
The shade is a safe-ish zone. Leaves and umbrellas can only hold back the sun rays so much but it is better than sitting in direct sunlight, turning to a crisp.
5. Burning after just being outside for 30 minutes
For some people it takes hours to burn or even turn a little pink but for a pale person a simple 30 minutes in full sun with butter and spice sprinkled on top you cooked lobster.
6. Constantly being made fun of because your SPF 100 is a life savior
There is no way tanning oil or baby oil is touching my pastel skin if I have to go outside in 90 degree weather. But thanks to SPF 100 I will not turn into a sun dried tomato but a simply hot and unpleasant person.
7. Your skin turns red faster and easier than humanly possible
a. Working out? Red face and out of breath.
b. Embarrassed? Your whole face is red like a tomato as you try to even out your breathing.
c. Crying? Red and blotchy with puffy eyes. There are no pretty criers in this club.
