7 Phases That Every Relationship Goes Through

7 Phases That Every Relationship Goes Through

Though every relationship varies, there are similar phases that can be seen within each one.

Every time you jump into a new romantic relationship, it seems like an entirely different experience. It’s with a different person, at a different time in your life and a different you than you were before. While every love you may encounter is unfamiliar in its essence, it’s not soon before you realize that you’ve been through all this before. The relationship may be divergent, but there are similar stages you’ll find once you settle into it.

1. The “getting to know you” phase.

This is most often known as the game show portion of the beginning of your relationship. It’s trying to learn the most about each other in the shortest amount of time to build the trust and love that you both have your eyes set on. Every new question offers the chance for discovery and excitement! Every time you see the person, you are almost destined to figure out something about them as well as yourself.

2. The “romantic montage” phase.

Once you’ve started to get to know each other, you start to want to do big and romantic gestures for one another. Maybe it’s things you never got to do in past relationships like giving your beloved flowers or whisking your significant other away to a surprise picnic in the park or bonfire on the beach. Everything seems to fall into place, and feel right. Even in the smallest of gestures like leaving notes or cooking dinner for the other, all seem like perfect moments.

3. The "you're that couple” phase.

When the theatrics of romantic start to come out, the inevitability of feeling smitten comes with it. And with romance in the air and your head in the clouds, you just want to spend all of your time with this person. The clingy, romantic, mushy person you never swore you would be is suddenly the person looking back at you in the mirror. Coincidentally, it's also the source of light mockery among your friends and family. But you don’t care that you’re a puddle of goo, you’re in love!

4. The “you’re not perfect” phase.

Being googly eyed with one another can only last for so long. It's almost as if a crack in the illusion of the person you have come to adore occurs. It isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It can be as simple as finding out that your person is really whiny when they’re sick, or actually hates something that they said they loved in the beginning of your relationship, like watching sports. And with it, you are simply reminded that the person you are with is indeed a person, and not the knight in shining armor or princess you originally fell for. And that is OK.

5. The ”pizza and sweatpants” phase.

You’ve been dating enough to the point where you don’t have to question or second guess your significant other. You’re able to say, “I feel like I can be around this person in just sweats, messy hai, and bad breath, and this person will not think less of me.” There’s not as much as worry as whether you look good enough or are doing the right thing. You know that you can both fall asleep to "Friends" and have a regular local restaurant that you consider your own. It’s not as much about discovery, but feeling bliss in being on the same page as the other person. Also, you can fart in front of one another with no qualms whatsoever.

6. The “what’s next?” phase.

This tends to happen after you've settled into the comfortableness of being so in sync. It slowly develops into a pattern of an old routine. You do the same things, see the same people and talk about the same things. It's not that you're unhappy, you're just getting a little bit less surprised, or sure about what new things are on the horizon. Depending on the couple and what they're looking to add new excitement back into the relationship, it's possible to move forward. It also tends to be a phase that comes back around every once in a while given the length of the relationship.

7. The “elderly couple” phase.

Though this may be considered a phase of comfort, this goes a little more beyond that. It’s more of an extended period of comfort. It’s realizing each other’s quirks, outgrowing the need to go out and do reckless things and feeling more comfortable with spending more one on one time as opposed to with a big group. Instead of going out, you just want to heat up some leftovers, play some board games or cards, maybe pop in a movie and call it an early night. You feel no shame in this, but are inclined for more simpler nights in and growing more into the age of the relationship instead of fighting it.

Though every relationship varies, there are similar phases that can be seen within each one. These are just a couple. What are some phases you feel exist across the border in relationships?

Cover Image Credit: https://councilforrelationships.org/about-us/leadership/

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I'd Rather Be Single Than Settle – Here Is Why Being Picky Is Okay

They're on their best behavior when you're dating.

Dating nowadays described in one word: annoying.

What's even more annoying? when people tell you that you're being too "picky" when it comes to dating. Yes, from an outside perspective sometimes that's exactly what it looks like; however, when looking at it from my perspective it all makes sense.

I've heard it all:

"He was cute, why didn't you like him?"

"You didn't even give him a chance!"

"You pay too much attention to the little things!"

What people don't understand is that it's OKAY to be picky when it comes to guys. For some reason, girls in college freak out and think they're supposed to have a boyfriend by now, be engaged by the time they graduate, etc. It's all a little ridiculous.

However, I refuse to put myself on a time table such as this due to the fact that these girls who feel this way are left with no choice but to overlook the things in guys that they shouldn't be overlooking, they're settling and this is something that I refuse to do.

So this leaves the big question: What am I waiting for?

Well, I'm waiting for a guy who...

1. Wants to know my friends.

Blessed doesn't even begin to describe how lucky I am to have the friends that I do.

I want a guy who can hang out with my friends. If a guy makes an effort to impress your friends then that says a lot about him and how he feels about you. This not only shows that he cares about you but he cares about the people in your life as well.

Someone should be happy to see you happy and your friends contribute to that happiness, therefore, they should be nothing more than supportive and caring towards you and your friendships.

2. Actually, cares to get to know me.

Although this is a very broad statement, this is the most important one. A guy should want to know all about you. He should want to know your favorite movie, favorite ice cream flavor, favorite Netflix series, etc. Often, (the guys I get stuck on dates with) love to talk about themselves: they would rather tell you about what workout they did yesterday, what their job is, and what they like to do rather than get to know you.

This is something easy to spot on the first date, so although they may be "cute," you should probably drop them if you leave your date and can recite everything about their life since the day they were born, yet they didn't catch what your last name was.

3. How they talk about other women.

It does not matter who they're talking about, if they call their ex-girlfriend crazy we all know she probably isn't and if she is it's probably their fault.

If they talk bad about their mom, let's be honest, if they're disrespecting their mother they're not going to respect you either. If they mention a girl's physical appearances when describing them. For example, "yeah, I think our waitress is that blonde chick with the big boobs"

Well if that doesn't hint they're a complete f* boy then I don't know what else to tell you. And most importantly calling other women "bitches" that's just disrespectful.

Needless to say, if his conversations are similar to ones you'd hear in a frat house, ditch him.

4. Phone etiquette.

If he can't put his phone down long enough to take you to dinner then he doesn't deserve for you to be sitting across from him.

If a guy is serious about you he's going to give you his undivided attention and he's going to do whatever it takes to impress you and checking Snapchat on a date is not impressive. Also, notice if his phone is facedown, then there's most likely a reason for it.

He doesn't trust who or what could pop up on there and he clearly doesn't want you seeing. Although I'm not particularly interested in what's popping up on their phones, putting them face down says more about the guy than you think it does.

To reiterate, it's okay to be picky ladies, you're young, there's no rush.

Remember these tips next time you're on a date or seeing someone, and keep in mind: they're on their best behavior when you're dating. Then ask yourself, what will they be like when they're comfortable? Years down the road? Is this what I really want? If you ask yourself these questions you might be down the same road I have stumbled upon, being too picky.. and that's better than settling.

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Poetry On The Odyssey: It's a Girl

An ode to the little girl raised to be insecure.


They raise little girls to be insecure

Little girls grow to be big girls

People always ask big girls why they're so insecure

Big girls aren't quite sure

Day after day the big girl can't keep up

She's exhausted

Her soul feels worn

The big girl learns to grow hard

In a way, she's a bit stronger

People call her a bitch


What is that?

How can she let that affect her

It's simply the only way to be her

She mourns that little girl

Hoping that one day

She'll be strong

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