So you did it again. After telling yourself for the 100th time that you are “not gonna drink that much tonight,” you went out and got yourself blacked out. Now, you are left with piecing together the night, an embarrassing Snapchat story and a ripping headache. Thankfully, I have been where you have been too many times, so here are my go-tos when I literally can’t the day after.
1. Water, Advil, and self-pity
Make sure to roll over the next day and instantly ask yourself, "Why the f did I drink/chug/funnel so much last night???” Then, when you don’t receive an answer, text your housemates to come save you. This way, they can get you Advil and water, and you can continue complaining about how hungover you are.
2. Anything greasy
My favorite hangover breakfast is an egg and cheese from Red Fox with a tall glass of apple juice. The combination of sweet and salty with dripping grease is the perfect cure. Other recommendations include: Sunnyside eggs with toast (drenched in butter) and a heaping pile of home fries from the diner.
3. Coffee
This is one for all you survivors who went hard the night before and instantly regretted everything on your walk to your 8 a.m. Lately, I’ve been into the Grande Pumpkin Spice Latte (tis the season), but some prefer straight up black coffee drowned in sugar and tears.
4. Yellow Gatorade
Personally, I will never drink yellow Gatorade again in my lifetime. The smell, the packaging and its horrible yellow color remind me of the dark days of Backstreet and shame. However, if you are on the struggle bus, yellow Gatorade is the choice for rehydrating those electrolytes. Out of all the flavors, it has the most generic taste, so it won’t cause horrible taste aversion, which is helpful because red Gatorade makes an excellent chaser.
5. Sleep
As soon as you have complained, consumed copious amounts of Advil and Gatorade and eaten your body weight in grease, TAKE A NAP. Important note: it will not help motivate you to “get your homework done later.”
6. Drink a little bit more
Unpopular opinion: Vodka is the cure all. If you have a cold and are stuffed up, take 2 shots and feel the freedom of breathing again. If your stomach hurts/you are suffering from constipation, take 2-3 shots and watch it all move. If your head is pounding, take 2 shots to put yourself on a more functional level.
7. Call someone
Similar to the self-pity method, talking to someone about the previous night is relaxing and guaranteed to brighten your mood as you laugh about how obnoxious you were.
Example: “OMG can you believe last night I fell off *insert elevated surface* so I bought 2 tequila shots to make up for it!”
Some people say exercise is also a great hangover cure, but those are the same people that say they “looooovvvveeee running” so just ignore them and keep chugging your yellow drank.
