32 Thoughts/Actions All Hungover College Girls Have And Do

32 Thoughts And Actions EVERY Hungover College Girl Has And Does The Morning After

"What time is it? Where's my phone? How the heck did I get home?"

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So, you went out last night and you had one too many drinks.

Sure, you promised yourself and your friends that you were only going to have "like two drinks" because you "have to be up early the next day."

That ~may~ have been your intention but you got to the party and there were free juice and beer, you started playing stack cup (a game you're REALLY not great at) which led to flip cup (also not your strongest suit), and you saw your ex from Sigma Apple Pi with his new girl and against your better judgment, instead of leaving the situation, your already intoxicated self decided to down two extra shots "for liquid courage" to go and confront that little playboy. Right as you tap him on the shoulder, you black out.

The next thing you know, it's morning. And now you're hungover.

But don't feel bad! We've all had those mornings. The morning where you might have a few of the following thoughts...

1. "Ugh, who turned on the sun?"

2. "What time is it? Where's my phone? How the heck did I get home?"

3. *Tries to get up*

"Whoa, nope there's a 10-pound brick in my head."

4. *Phone is on 4%* *groans*

5. *Opens phone to find 13 missed calls, 29 text messages, and 18 unopened Snapchats*

"Oh. No. No, no, no, no who did I talk to? Did I talk to my ex???"

6. *Sees full but illiterate conversation with four different people including your ex* "NOOOOOOO!"

7. "Why is my Snap story literally 5 minutes long? Who's that in it? Am I wall twerking???"

8. *Starts deleting snap story*

9. "OK. On the count of three, get up... one, two, two and a half, three."

10. *Finally gets up and immediately gets nauseous*

"That was a mistake"

11. *Runs to the bathroom*

12. *Throws up in the toilet for a solid nine heaves while head is still pounding*

13. *Looks in the mirror to see last nights makeup smudged all over your face and your once-cute outfit covered in blood stains, mud, and dried alcohol*

14. "I'm a garbage person."

15. *Stumbles to the kitchen for water and Advil*

16. Roommate who has her life together: "Oh good, you're alive."

Well, kind of.

17. *Grumble something about never drinking again as you down the pills and about eight glasses of water*

18. You to everyone you went out with: "What the heck happened last night?"

19. *Gets 14 different versions of what you did last night*

20. *Tries to piece together how the rest of the night went*

21. "I booty called WHO???"

Mistakes were made.

22. "I gotta drop out of school now."

23. *Dry heaves another four times*

24. "God, why me?"

25. *Cancel any and all plans for the rest of the day in order to recover*

26. *Takes another Advil*

27. *Hangover shower*

28. "I'm never drinking again."

Roommates: "You say that every time you get drunk."

29. *Searches for munchies but only have healthy food*

30. *Goes to McDonald's or your local bagel shop and orders enough food to feed three people*

31. *Eats every single bite*

32. *Does the same exact thing the next weekend*

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A Letter To My Freshman Dorm Room As I Pack Up My Things

Somehow a 15' x 12' room became a home.

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Dear Geary 411,

With your creaky beds, concrete walls, and mismatched tile floors, you are easily overlooked as just another room we were randomly assigned to— but you were different. Inside your old walls, I have made some of the best memories of my life that I will hold on to forever.

Thank you for welcoming my neighbors in with open arms who quickly became friends who didn't knock and walked in like you were their own.

I feel like an apology is needed.

We're sorry for blaring the music so loud while getting ready and acting like we can actually sing when, in reality, we know we can't. Sorry for the dance parties that got a bit out of control and ended with us standing on the desks. Sorry for the cases of the late-night giggles that came out of nowhere and just would not go away. Sorry for the homesick cries and the "I failed my test" cries and the "I'm dropping out" cries. We're sorry for hating you at first. All we saw was a tiny and insanely hot room, we had no idea what you would bring to us.

Thank you for providing me with memories of my first college friends and college experiences.

As I stand at the door looking at the bare room that I first walked into nine months ago I see so much more than just a room. I see lots and lots of dinners being eaten at the desks filled with stories of our days. I see three girls sitting on the floor laughing at God knows what. I see late night ice cream runs and dance battles. I see long nights of homework and much-needed naps. Most importantly, I look at the bed and see a girl who sat and watched her parents leave in August and was absolutely terrified, and as I lock you up for the last time today, I am so proud of who that terrified girl is now and how much she has grown.

Thank you for being a space where I could grow, where I was tested physically, mentally and emotionally and for being my home for a year.

Sincerely,

A girl who is sad to go

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I'm A College Girl Who Doesn't Like To Party, Sue Me

Please don't make me go out, I'm a grandma.

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I'm a college girl attending a school known locally for its parties and I would rather stay home in my pajamas, watching Netflix.

When I announced to my aunt that I was committed to URI last summer, she laughed and said that when she was a college student in the late '90s and early '00s at Rhode Island College, it was dubbed as "You Are High." My older siblings talked of parties and how the institution was a spot for people who weren't even students. Some of my friends teased me that I was going to get intoxicated every night and they would get drunk texts at all hours. My parents warned me to be careful and to stay safe. Everyone noted that college was usually a time for young adults to let loose.

Not me.

I have an extremely small circle of friends and if you're not in it, I am utterly uncomfortable engaging in conversation with you. Don't get me wrong, if you talk to me first and you seem like a cool person, I will be fine but I cannot make the first move almost ever. I would be following my group around the whole party which would not only annoy them but most likely result in me standing by myself in a corner for the entirety of the night because I lost them. I don't particularly like to drink or smoke. I'm kind of a lightweight and being high just results in my already bad anxiety shooting through the roof. I like to be sober and completely aware of everything going on around me. Sure there are some who don't participate in either activity but you're seen as a buzzkill for the rest as if your sobriety is ruining their fun.

I am self-conscious about my body. I do not like to wear tight-fitting or short clothes because I will continuously beat myself up for not wearing another outfit or not looking like some Instagram model. I would much prefer my glasses on with a baggy sweater and sweatpants. Unnecessary loud noises irritate me as I easily get migraines from them which can take some time to go away. I get nervous that I will do something embarrassing and be laughed at. I worry something unfortunate will happen.

I like to stay in with my parents and my dog. I like to go to restaurants, museums, amusement parks, and much more with people I am comfortable with. I can sit back with a bowl of popcorn, pop in a movie, and be set for the night. Just not partying. My definition of a good time is different from most college students and that's OK. I may be in college, but I am mentally a grandmother.

If you like to go out and party, I am not judging you. That's your element, go out and own it. But it's not mine.

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