It is common for college students to think that they will meet their spouse during their time in school. Before we even start school, we start thinking about who they will be and how we'll meet. We start school and expect that we will immediately meet someone, fall in love, and have a ring by spring. For many people, this does happen. I’ve heard countless stories of students who met someone in their hall freshman year, fell in love, and have been together ever since. For the other half of students, this does not happen. We go through college, looking for “the one” and end up just as single as we were when we entered college. While this is often hard, it is not uncommon and should not be frowned upon. When someone is single, it is for a reason and can often prepare that person for the time when they meet their future spouse.
Last semester, there was a message at ONE—the college ministry of Church of The Highlands—in regards to dating and finding a spouse in college. The message struck home with me and most of the students in attendance. When many people, including myself, are looking for a significant other, they often only truly notice their physical appearance and decide that they like that person. However, this leads to heartbreak more often than not because they are only seeing what is on the outside. So, here are some important, godly aspects to look for in a person aside from their just their physical appearance.
1. Character
A person’s character is very important in the grand scheme of things. Even if that boy is the hottest man ever, if they treat their friends or even you like crap, then they are not worth your time.
Proverbs 10:9 says, "People with integrity walk safely, but those who follow crooked paths will be exposed."
The best way to see what a person’s character is like is to watch how they behave around and treat their friends. How they act in public is how they will behave in private.
One day that man or woman will be old and wrinkly, but their character will be the same.
2. Avoid Selfishness
Make sure that the other person is giving just as much love as you are. Don’t try to compensate for their lack of attention and affection for you. They should be reciprocating your love and attention.
That being sad, God has challenged and called men to initiate the relationship. Girls, he should be pursuing you. He should not be avoiding your text messages during the day and then texting you at 2am. He should be actively pursuing you and desiring your attention.
3. Are they after God’s heart more than yours?
"Those who fear the Lord are secure; he will be a refuge for their children." -Proverbs 14:26
The man or woman should be actively pursuing God and building their relationship with Him. They should seek first the kingdom of God before they try to seek you.
Their, and even your own, relationship with God should not be based upon your relationship with God.
4. Watch how they spend their time.
Find someone who spends their time wisely. Don’t look for a person that is always watching Netflix or laying around.
Provers 14:23 reads, "Work brings profit, but mere talk leads to poverty."
They should spend their time doing things that will prepare them for their future and their life with you.
You want someone who is motivated now and has plans for their life.
5. Watch how they talk about other people.
"A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends." -Proverbs 16:28
When you are with someone who is constantly talking down other people, it is very likely that they talk the same way about you to their friends.
Look at how they talk about others and see if their words are building up or tearing down.
6. Look for someone who is content.
If the other person is not content in their lives, they won’t be content when you enter the picture.
They should be happy with where they are in life and not searching for meaning in another person.
Seek someone who knows who they are in Christ so that they can be strong and confident when they are in a relationship with you.
7. Are they pursuing Christ?
"Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and he will give you everything you need." -Luke 12:31
Look for someone who is pursing Christ and building their relationship with Him.
They should seeks God’s heart, even when you are not around. Their relationship with God should not be for show or just for you. It should be a personal decision to actively pursue God.
Don’t try to rush the dating process and simply wait for God to send you someone that will far exceed your expectations.
