7 Gifts To Never Give Your Girlfriend For The Holidays

7 Gifts To Never Give Your Girlfriend For The Holidays

According to my calculations, when a man shops for his girlfriend, there's only a 1% success-rate.
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The holidays are near, and you know what that means: shitty gifts from your boyfriend that you have to pretend to love so you don't sound ungrateful even though your gift clearly tops his and you're actually really unhappy about the fact that you have to wear the mint pleather jacket that he got you at least once even though it's clearly not your size or your color.

At this point, we all know that you're a master at pretending to like gifts. In fact, you're so good, you should get paid for it.

Thanks babe, I really love it! You're the best!

Be sure to send the following list to bae so he doesn't get it twisted this year.

1. Perfume.

Okay, unless she tells you that she really wants this new perfume that everybody's talking about, don't spend your money on it. Unless, of course, you're trying to tell her something. Does she smell bad?

2. Bras.

I admit, bras can be a cute gift, especially if they're lacy and colorful. But if you don't know her size, please don't invest in one. Otherwise, you might offend her and that's absolutely not what we're going for here.

3. Gift certificates or cash.

Hi, are you paying her to go out with you? Put some more thought into it! Paint something. Craft something. Get handy! It's okay if it turns out shitty, she'll appreciate the thought.

4. Clothes!!!!

Yes, women love clothes. But when you shop for them, it's different from when they shop for themselves. According to my calculations, when a man shops for his girlfriend, there's only a 1% success-rate. So many things could go wrong: the wrong style, the wrong size, etc. BUT, if you're absolutely sure that she wants that jacket because she's been talking about it for weeks now, absolutely, positively get it for her! She'll appreciate the fact that you listened to her and she'll be really excited about a new addition to her closet.

5. Stuffed animals.

Sounds cute, but it's extremely unoriginal. Please don't do it. She's not 8 years old.

6. Socks that aren't fuzzy or cool.

I mean, depending on the girl, socks in general may or may not be a great gift. Personally, I love socks, so that's fine by me. But think about it this way: getting socks that aren't fuzzy is like getting regular fries when you can just as easily get curly fries. Makes sense now?

7. Things only you enjoy.

Just imagine, pulling up to the scene and and making your girlfriend unwrap this medium-sized box. She is so ecstatic at the sight of its size that she rips the wrapping paper within seconds. You allowed her to build up all this excitement only for her to unwrap a huge, $250 Rawlings 13-inch Bryce Harper HOH Series Glove (yes, I looked that up on the Dick's Sporting Goods website). Um, hello? What is she going to do with that? Enjoy your Christmas-day fight!





Cover Image Credit: Brunch News

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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I Love Simplicity In Relationships, But Grand Gestures Still Make Me Swoon

There's nothing wrong with loving fancy dinner dates and takeout in your PJs.

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It has come to my attention, as confused as I am by it all, that relationships by society's standards are defined by how fancy your dates are.

If he takes you out, he loves you. If you eat takeout in your sweatpants, he couldn't care less. Is that how this goes?

You realize how ridiculous this sounds, right?

When my boyfriend and I were first beginning our relationship, we, of course, went on dinner dates and had a few drinks. He indulged me and treated me like a princess. That's fine, and I love that on occasion, but let me be the first to say that I'd much rather have us in pajamas eating pizza at 2 AM. I don't need the fancy dates to know he loves me - that is no indication of how we feel for each other.

Now, that's not to say that I don't enjoy the grand gestures he does for me. Slow dancing in his kitchen, buying my morning coffee, or taking me out to dinner is so special.

But I don't need it.

I know he loves me without all that, and I enjoy the simple things we do when we spend time together. From watching The Office to laughing about the day's events and everything in between.

It's not a crime to enjoy both simplicity and grandeur.

It doesn't mean my boyfriend doesn't love me or care for me when we stay in PJs and stuff our faces.

We aren't being "extra" when we go out to dinner or slow dance in his kitchen.

We are simply being us, building a relationship on what we think it should be.

That's enough for me, and it always will be.

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