Whether it’s a large university or small liberal arts school, it’s no secret that social interactions with other humans in college is awkward and less than desired. But if the stars align and you put in your hardest effort, you could just end up with the friends of a lifetime, making memories of the best times of your life.
Here are seven easy ways to make friends in college:
1. Fake it ‘til you make it.
Look, I get it. You’re not the most brave or open person ever. Most freshmen orientation sessions are set up specifically to do two things. 1) Get you all the information you need and 2) Make friends. They’ll put you in groups - take advantage of that. I know it’s hard, but even if your cheeks are blushing and your hands are shaking, talk to people. Initiate conversation with people you think are like-minded. Chances are, sincerely, they’re just as nervous and alone as you, looking for a buddy. The first few weeks provide the chance for the introvert to find other scared loners, so do yourself a favor, put on a brave face, and just say “Hi.”
2. Click with a niche.
Everyone has passions and talents. Find yours, and then find others with similar passions and talents. If you’re on a sports team or in choir, that’s easier because you have scholarships and are required to make that family. Otherwise, bigger universities will have clubs based on fandoms and interests like the Harry Potter club or a Robotics team. Even smaller schools will have a Student Activities Board or book club. The hardest part is just signing up, I promise. As always, I’m an advocate for theater. Don’t worry, shy one, being a part of theater doesn’t mean you have to be on stage. Be on the lights crew, a stage manager, or help find costumes and props for your local theater crew on campus. You’ll still be a part of a team and can remain backstage. Or, if you’re ready for the spotlight, most colleges have open auditions. Even a small part can get you to befriend the cast.
3. Open door, open heart.
If you are staying in a dorm, and you’re on the less aggressive talking side, simply leaving your door open as much as possible can lead to inviting people in. Putting up posters for people to see can lead to passerby's commenting on your interests and room décor. The same thing goes playing music you like (not too loudly, though).
4. Take the open seat.
The cafeteria is the mixing pot for most schools. I remember that on my first day I wanted to eat in the bathroom or just run back and cook something in my microwave like the cheap college student I am. But it’s so important in those first weeks to establish friends. Be brave. If you see someone sitting alone, you can be the nice person that sits by them. If you see a full table with one seat open, take it. People want to know you as much as you want to know them. Don’t be afraid to join the table. And it’s OK if you don’t find your breakfast club (pun intended) in the cafeteria the first few times. Sometimes, friend groups can already be pretty established. Keep trying, keep jumping, and always ask about that empty seat.
5. Go to campus events.
As I mentioned previously, most colleges have something along the lines of a Student Activities Board of sorts. That is a group of students who plan fun events for the students to participate in. From bringing in musicians to perform to laser tag, their purpose is to get people out of the dorms and mingling with each other. You’ll often see posters hung around campus. Otherwise, they probably have social media you can follow for updates and info on upcoming events. I suggest joining the board in the first place, but otherwise, try and go to as many events as possible. Meet new people, get entertained, take a break from the studying. In most cases, you already paid for the events through your tuition, so at least get your money’s worth.
6. Get out of the dorm.
Locked away in your dorm is never going to make friends, unless it’s with your roommate. Even if it’s just for a walk, or reading outside or in the library, being out in public is the smallest step to finding people in it.
7. Relax!
You’re wonderful. You are unique. You have a ton to offer to any friendship or relationship. You are worthy to be friends with. Go out of your way to find the people who are worthy of you as well, and enjoy the last few years of awkward child/adult zone fun.
