1. Pre-game Responsibly

Everyone knows that if you're really planning on having a blast at a party one night, it is customary to "pre-game" beforehand. However, there are different intensities of pre-gaming when it comes to the evolutionary differences between those who lose it after 2 shots and those who maintain their composure post-7. All in all, if you know you can't handle 4 shots, don't do four shots. It's that simple. Being self-responsible will make it easier on yourself as well as your friends around who would rather have fun than be obligated to hold your hair as you puke your meals out before the dancing even starts.

2. Parties With Good Reputation

If you've been to a party that's been busted before (or multiple times), it's probably a wise decision to not attend the next party the group is hosting. Granted, there's always that one unlucky night the fun club is throwing a party. Though it never happens again because their party style isn't high profile and it's more simple than it is complicated. As opposed to the big frats that have the long lines, school ID checks, giant driveways, outrageously overwhelming cannabis stenches in the yard, and the blasting heat all throughout the three story house. Not to mention there's probably a girl puking in a metal bucket somewhere in the living room. At this point, your gut should be giving you the signal to just simply leave. Ask around before going to parties. How's their music choice? How big is the dance floor/house? How many people usually show up? Who's hosting the party? These are important things to keep in mind when you're in the decision-making process.

3. How Big of a Party Should You Take to the Party?

There's always the issue of the quantity of humans to accompany you at the party. Here a simple ratio to keep in mind: for every irresponsible delinquent, bring one responsible human being. Though the ratio 2:1 is also a common situation, it's much less stressful to party by the 1:1 ratio. Don't travel in packs of more than 5 though. You're just going to tick off the people by the door and chances are they won't appreciate your very presence.

4. Who's Going to Play "Mom?"

Simply put, the one assuming the role of "mom" is usually the one who is the most sober. But it's all okay. Let's be honest, since you'll be the least wasted, you'll be the only person who will remember every embarrassing moment of your friends...and have a snap story to prove it. Oh, the joys of parenting.

5. How Long Should I Stay? When Should I go?

At some point, one of two things will happen: 1. The songs begin to repeat or 2. Omens unmask themselves. At some point, the party will begin to get boring. At another point, your friends are going to become even more unaware of everything and start falling over...this is a good sign something bad is gonna happen if you stay in this area (maybe if you didn't drink so much, your whole group wouldn't feel so compelled to leave for you. Rude.) Either way, you should probably at whichever situation arises. Your gut can also warn you if something horrible is in the making...like if the cops are 20 minutes away. It's like a 6th sense for college kids.

6. If the Dance Floor is Full, Don't Bother.

It's all in the title. If there's practically a square centimeter of space on the floor to dance, for the love of God, do not attempt to join in. That will just result in making everyone angry because chances are you're going to be pushing people into other people. In turn will result in certain body parts being touched that aren't supposed to be touched, resulting in discomfort among, like, everyone. And don't even try saying "excuse me." No one can hear you. Even when you're being nice, you're being, as the young people would say: "rude af." Either wait for space to open up or go somewhere else. No one can dance comfortably with a square millimeter of space around them. Don't put yourself in a position where you accidentally grope someone. Just don't. Especially during "Closer." Like, really dude, are you trying to get kicked out, at that point?

7. Beer Pong is Dandy and All, but Don't Get Carried Away

Of course, at every college party, there's going to be at least one beer pong table. According to various acquaintances, the game can be quite enjoyable. However, this ties back with topics one and five, a little bit. Basically, if you get too carried away, chances are that your skills will result in your posse having to leave early. Sorry but it looks like you're the designated buzz-kill (pun-intended) this time, bud.