When the going gets tough, do you look into the sky and think, “Wow, I wish I could just fly away from here?” Or maybe every time you see a dog, you think, “Gee, wouldn’t the canine life be grand?” College isn’t for all of us, but being a different species can be! If you need a semester (or four) off from the exorbitant amounts of studying, there are many other species besides Homo sapiens in the world, and a number of them have awesome evolutionary traits that trump our own. Speaking of Trump, another reason you may want to become a difference species is because the doom of a new presidency may not be far off.
The nation we live in is increasingly open to new and unique lifestyles, so you shan't worry about being made fun of for changing it up. The best part about this is that you don’t need Professor McGonagall’s transfiguration class to succeed!
1. Giant Tortoise
With the proper shell, you will make a marvelous tortoise. Life will be at a much more relaxed pace than it is now, so you have many herbavoric, lethargic days to look forward to.
2. Sea Lion
With so many fun types (Californian, Australian, or Galapagos),
the travel opportunities are endless! Sunbathe the day away and swim in the
ocean with your new family.
3. Common House Cat
Find an owner, move back in with your parents, or sleep all day long. You will blend right in with your feline friends! (Purring optional, but recommended.)
4. Cane Toad
The most mundane amphibian known to America -- so basically the epitome of your human self.
5. Pterodactyl
Become the ultimate bird of prey! You will always be able to fend for yourself. Perks: You will be the sole representative of your species, so you may be able to get paid for special appearances.
6. Mountain Back Gorilla
Retreat back into your primitive ways, or even become your
neighborhood’s new Bigfoot. You may become TV famous!
7. Giraffe
All you need is a pair of stilts, and you will fit in with your new tower perfectly!
8. Orca
The
best part about this transition is that English is no longer necessary, plus
you get to see the world from an entirely new perspective.
9. Squirrel
Find a forest and live off the land! If Bear Grylls can do it, you can too! Fun fact: a group of squirrels is called a scurry. Scurry along, my friends.
10. Monarch Butterfly
With the average wingspan of this colorful comrade being around four inches, you will instantly become head of the migration.
11. Badger
Become a living example of exemplary school spirit! President Theodore Roosevelt had a pet badger, so you basically have a bloodline to the White House, making you instantly more successful than the wannabe badgers on campus.
Or, you can just take a break from studying to read ridiculous articles such as this, and get back to the books.
Sometimes it's necessary for your mental health to daydream about a different life, but the Homo sapien species is probably the best species for you.
