Everyone always says college will be the best four years of your life, and sometimes they're right - college is freaking awesome. You know what else college is? Freaking STRESSFUL. Your professors will boast about only giving "a few hours of work per night", but when you have classes until 5pm, rehearsals, sports practices, meetings, lectures, film screenings, group projects, and MAYBE a little sleep, there isn't much time left over. The stress isn't entirely on the fault of the professors of course, because to an extent, we do it to ourselves. Procrastination is an art, and it's an art that almost every college student has practiced, if not mastered. If you're new to the procrastinators club, welcome! We would offer you cookies but no one has actually baked them yet. Instead I'll offer you 61 things to do instead of all of the work that you really should be doing.
1. Stalk your 8th grade lab partner on Facebook
2. Translate a word into 10 different languages on google translate until it doesn't mean the same thing in English anymore
3. Plan your wedding
4. Find the top three hiding places in your room (or wherever you're pretending to do actual work)
5. Clean something that is already clean
6. Arrange everything in your refrigerator by color
7. Call your mom
8. Do homework that you don't have to do
9. Name your future children
10. Make tea
11. Draw faces on inanimate objects and send pictures to your friends
12. Memorize the words to "Wasn't Me" by Shaggy (and I mean ALL the words)
13. Find an animal to adopt
14. Take a nap
15. Download your favorite childhood computer games and go nuts
16. Calculate the least amount of work you have to do to pass your classes
17. Organize your socks
18. Watch movie trailers on YouTube
19. Choose a Halloween costume (no matter what month it is)
20. Google yourself
21. Try to talk in a different accent and see if anyone questions you
22. Think about doing your laundry. But only think about it.
23. Have a dance party with yourself
24. See how many shirts you can wear at the same time
25. Take a shower
26. Find caps for all of your pens
27. Remind someone you love them
28. Redecorate your room in your head
29. Make a list of all of the things you need to do tomorrow since you did nothing today
30. Stare out the window
31. Decide who to vote for in the presidential election
32. Go for a walk until you get lost
33. Make your bed (because let's be honest, you probably haven't made it in a week)
34. Eat a snack
35. Write an article about procrastinating
36. Invent your own yoga pose
37. Like all of your best friends past profile pictures on Facebook
38. Figure out how much it would cost to move to Fiji
39. Read your twitter feed from 2011
40. Count how many freckles you have
41. Build a pillow fort
42. Try to say the alphabet backwards
43. Look up celebrities who have the same birthday as you
44. Type a random phone number into your phone and give it a call
45. See if you can lick your nose
46. If you can't lick your nose, practice licking your nose
47. Hide in a closet and scare the next person who walks into the room
48. Name your toes
49. Recite the preamble that you still have memorized form the 5th grade
50. Tape your fingers together and try to do basic activities
51. Sing about paleontology
52. Check under your bed for monsters
53. Backup your hard drive
54. Order Chipotle
55. Write yourself a theme song
56. Sing your new theme song to the first person you see
57. Choreograph a dance to your new theme song
58. Perform your new theme song and dance in your bathroom mirror
59. Make ice
60. Re-read the to-do list you made and realize you have done none of the things you were supposed to
61. Make a new to-do list and SWEAR you'll actually do your work this time. Maybe.
