6 Ways You Know You're An Independent Millennial

6 Ways You Know You're An Independent Millennial

Delegation is my prime weakness.
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Independence, and no I am not talking about the Fourth of July. Nor am I talking about living alone, I am talking about our way of being. As the years go on, our society has younger generations become more self-indulged and that is not necessarily a bad thing.

While some tend to be more co-dependent on another person or a group of people, there are a lot of people now that have come to the reality that they need to be there for themselves and add purpose to themselves, not wait around for someone else.

Not all independent people do all 6 of these notes, but here are some to make you aware of what they are like or to give yourself a sense of identity when having them laid in front of you.

You can go a whole day without/barely touching your phone

It is now 2018 and many millennials have some form of technology and an account to social media. We are constantly connected, and most people would admit to needing a form of public validation. Either that or in constant need of talking to someone. An independent person does not feel that way. They mostly see their phone to look at a clock or be an instant contact to organize a meet up with someone.

The world moves on and independent people understand that, so they tend to be involved in what is happening to them instead of being glued to their phones. Independent people tend to fill up their day with things that bring purpose to their own lives rather than to please others or to compare with others. You could probably go extended amounts of time without talking to your friends and not feel like they do not like you, you guys are just taking a pause and that is fine. You understand that because everyone must live their own life.

When it comes to dating, the person must compete with your solitude

I am a person that is known to say this to people:

“When it comes to me, guys do not compete against other guys to get my affection. They compete against me to gain my attention.”

We are constantly busy and that takes out a lot of energy for us. Independent people can pretty much do anything by themselves because they learned to stand for themselves in life, this can also make them more desirable in someone’s eyes. So even having a person (especially someone who wants to be involved romantically) would have to be better than me being by myself and my relaxation. We make our lives good enough without a significant other. It’s like a pancake, pancakes are already good, if you add chocolate chips or blueberries It would make the pancake taste better, but if there isn’t any chips or berries, the pancake is still good and will be eaten.

You would rather just do something yourself than rely on others

Delegation is my prime weakness. People have told me time and time again to delegate to people to make my life easier. But here is the thing, I do not want to. You must rely on others to get the job done in your name. Yes, they might do the job correctly and make you look good. On the other hand, there is the possibility of them screwing up and then causing a bad reputation to you and you would rather just do it yourself and if you mess up, well at least you earned it yourself. There is a constant sense of nervousness on of the person that you trust to do the job will do it or if they forget or not show up that makes you hesitant to relinquish responsibility to others. In the end, we all know the saying,“If you want it done, you have to do it yourself.”

You get awkward when someone pays for you

This recently happened to me. You are out with a friend, having fun and then they give their order. They look at you as if you are giving yours too and then they say, “Oh what do you want?” and then you look at them saying “You don’t need to buy my stuff!” But then they do it anyways and you have this weird feeling like you are now reliant on that person or you may think you are less of a person because you did not pay for your own stuff. Please do not think that way. Your friend was just trying to be nice and you might have done the same for them. Some people, have the idea in their head when they work for their money and they spend it, it gives them a sense of pride and when someone else does it for them, they may feel like it was just handed to them, that it was not earned by them.

You probably do not have a certain group

When it comes to being independent, you probably have a pretty good sense of yourself and your identity. That being said, you probably have a wide variety of things that can characterize you. In result to have many characteristics, independent people are known to have friends that are different from one another. There is not one group that can keep the independent person from being bored, so they tend to drift to multiple people in order to cover the entertainment/social aspect of their lives. All the little groups of friends help mold you into who you are and can keep you at balanced, compared to just having one group of people have a major impact on your life. Independence does not equal solidarity or being lonely. By having multiple groups of people that you could consider to be acquaintances or even friends can truly be evidence in displaying that independent people are just more well-rounded.

People come to you all the time

While being an independent person, it only makes sense that they may appreciate some time by themselves. Whether it be to calm down or do reflection on themselves. Independent people tend to be more self-aware compared to people who are more reliant on others. Independent people discover their strengths and weaknesses faster because they want to make sure that they are fully capable of whatever they must do, and do not want to have someone else do it for them. Since independent people are self-aware, they give off a sense of stability and purpose. This would attract others to want to come to them for advice. The advice could be about careers, relationships, faith or even just overall in life. Independent people are known to be wise and can make things a teaching lesson for others, even when they do not think that they are doing so now.

In the end, being independent is having your own support. It does not mean you do not hang around other people nor does it mean that you "all grown up" and doing "adult things" but rather it is more about being comfortable with yourself to the point where you do not need anyone else. When you have finally reached a moment in your life when you are truly proud of what you have done and the fact that you did it all by yourself.

Cover Image Credit: Deb Greengold

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You May Have Worn The Prom Dress With Him, But I Get To Wear The Wedding Dress

You had him in high school, but I get him for the rest of my life.
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High school seems like the best time of your life when you are in it. You think that all of your friends will be with you until the end, and that you will end up with whoever you are dating your senior year. For very few, that might just be the case. For all others, that is far from true.

You thought that you would marry your boyfriend and you thought that everything would work out how you had always imagined. I don't blame you though. He's great. You wanted everything with him, but you were just not right for him.

I wish I could say that I am sorry it didn't work out for you, but I can't. I can't because he is mine now, and I get to cherish him forever. You didn't do that right, and you were not meant to be together. You will find someone too, but I am happy that you were not the one for him.

Sometimes I have issues with jealousy, and I hate that you got all of the high school stuff with him. You got to go to games and support him. It kills me that I couldn't be there for him because I know I would have actually been there wholeheartedly. I would have done it out of love, not as a popularity appearance.

I hate that you got to go to all of the school dances with him. He got to see you all dressed up and probably told you how great you looked. I'm sure you did look great. Prom dresses were always fun to pick out and so colorful. It was exciting to match colors with your date. I am sure you had fun choosing his matching tux to your dress.

I find myself getting jealous, but then I stop. I am getting to match his tux with our wedding colors. I got to go dress shopping in a sea of white, and he doesn't get to know one detail about that dress yet. He will get to see me walk down the aisle and then every day forever. I get to love him forever.

I try to not get jealous of all of the things you got with him because it is all in the past. You had your time, and now I get the wedding. You got to dress up in high school, but I get to dress up for my wedding with him. He may have put a corsage on your wrist, but he will be putting the wedding ring on my finger.

Cover Image Credit: Jessy Scott

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I Expected It To Have It All Together By 22 And I'm Still Far From That

What we expected and what reality actually is, are two completely different things...

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Oh our 20s, how we expected them to be so different. We expected to graduate college at 22, have a career by 23, be engaged by 24, married with a house by 25, kids by 26-28, vacationing with the family by 30, and retired by 60. We expected college to be parties and cute boys/girls. Instead, we got late nights of studying and crying after a job that barely pays for our car, food, dorm, and textbooks. We get no social life and if we do our grades suffer for it.

Our 20s were expected to be all fun but all we got were struggles and stress. I mean I don't know about you but I expected, to have it all together and I'm nearly 23 and far from it. I had all the scholarships and great grades, and I still don't have any type of degree.

Reality hits after 18. Most of us don't have the help of mom and dad anymore. We have to find our way and make a path for ourselves. Sometimes our dreams and goals have to be put on hold for that. The 20s isn't fun. It's about discovering who you are, who you want to be, and where you want to go. Some of us serve our country, some become incarcerated, some of us parents, some teachers, others cops, others travel or study abroad, some dead, some ill, other managers, others homeless, some still living home, and some even addicts.

The weird thing about your 20s is everyone is doing something different, but yet everyone is confused and comparing themselves to others. People feel if they're not doing what others are doing, in their age group then they have failed themselves. What people forget is that with life comes obstacles and sacrifice and everyone's life and situations are different. You are where you need to be right now, for you, and I think that's something to remember in your 20s.

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Another thing about your 20's is you're free to think for yourself now. No more having to follow a religion you dislike or hold back from things you love. The world is literally yours to discover and learn from. Possibilities are endless! I think your 20's are the years you create yourself to the best version of you and build the foundation for your future. Just remember, we all build at our own pace.

Signed,

The lost 22-year old that believes in you

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