Independence, and no I am not talking about the Fourth of July. Nor am I talking about living alone, I am talking about our way of being. As the years go on, our society has younger generations become more self-indulged and that is not necessarily a bad thing.

While some tend to be more co-dependent on another person or a group of people, there are a lot of people now that have come to the reality that they need to be there for themselves and add purpose to themselves, not wait around for someone else.

Not all independent people do all 6 of these notes, but here are some to make you aware of what they are like or to give yourself a sense of identity when having them laid in front of you.

You can go a whole day without/barely touching your phone

It is now 2018 and many millennials have some form of technology and an account to social media. We are constantly connected, and most people would admit to needing a form of public validation. Either that or in constant need of talking to someone. An independent person does not feel that way. They mostly see their phone to look at a clock or be an instant contact to organize a meet up with someone.

The world moves on and independent people understand that, so they tend to be involved in what is happening to them instead of being glued to their phones. Independent people tend to fill up their day with things that bring purpose to their own lives rather than to please others or to compare with others. You could probably go extended amounts of time without talking to your friends and not feel like they do not like you, you guys are just taking a pause and that is fine. You understand that because everyone must live their own life.

When it comes to dating, the person must compete with your solitude

I am a person that is known to say this to people:

“When it comes to me, guys do not compete against other guys to get my affection. They compete against me to gain my attention.”

We are constantly busy and that takes out a lot of energy for us. Independent people can pretty much do anything by themselves because they learned to stand for themselves in life, this can also make them more desirable in someone’s eyes. So even having a person (especially someone who wants to be involved romantically) would have to be better than me being by myself and my relaxation. We make our lives good enough without a significant other. It’s like a pancake, pancakes are already good, if you add chocolate chips or blueberries It would make the pancake taste better, but if there isn’t any chips or berries, the pancake is still good and will be eaten.

You would rather just do something yourself than rely on others

Delegation is my prime weakness. People have told me time and time again to delegate to people to make my life easier. But here is the thing, I do not want to. You must rely on others to get the job done in your name. Yes, they might do the job correctly and make you look good. On the other hand, there is the possibility of them screwing up and then causing a bad reputation to you and you would rather just do it yourself and if you mess up, well at least you earned it yourself. There is a constant sense of nervousness on of the person that you trust to do the job will do it or if they forget or not show up that makes you hesitant to relinquish responsibility to others. In the end, we all know the saying,“If you want it done, you have to do it yourself.”

You get awkward when someone pays for you

This recently happened to me. You are out with a friend, having fun and then they give their order. They look at you as if you are giving yours too and then they say, “Oh what do you want?” and then you look at them saying “You don’t need to buy my stuff!” But then they do it anyways and you have this weird feeling like you are now reliant on that person or you may think you are less of a person because you did not pay for your own stuff. Please do not think that way. Your friend was just trying to be nice and you might have done the same for them. Some people, have the idea in their head when they work for their money and they spend it, it gives them a sense of pride and when someone else does it for them, they may feel like it was just handed to them, that it was not earned by them.

You probably do not have a certain group

When it comes to being independent, you probably have a pretty good sense of yourself and your identity. That being said, you probably have a wide variety of things that can characterize you. In result to have many characteristics, independent people are known to have friends that are different from one another. There is not one group that can keep the independent person from being bored, so they tend to drift to multiple people in order to cover the entertainment/social aspect of their lives. All the little groups of friends help mold you into who you are and can keep you at balanced, compared to just having one group of people have a major impact on your life. Independence does not equal solidarity or being lonely. By having multiple groups of people that you could consider to be acquaintances or even friends can truly be evidence in displaying that independent people are just more well-rounded.

People come to you all the time

While being an independent person, it only makes sense that they may appreciate some time by themselves. Whether it be to calm down or do reflection on themselves. Independent people tend to be more self-aware compared to people who are more reliant on others. Independent people discover their strengths and weaknesses faster because they want to make sure that they are fully capable of whatever they must do, and do not want to have someone else do it for them. Since independent people are self-aware, they give off a sense of stability and purpose. This would attract others to want to come to them for advice. The advice could be about careers, relationships, faith or even just overall in life. Independent people are known to be wise and can make things a teaching lesson for others, even when they do not think that they are doing so now.

In the end, being independent is having your own support. It does not mean you do not hang around other people nor does it mean that you "all grown up" and doing "adult things" but rather it is more about being comfortable with yourself to the point where you do not need anyone else. When you have finally reached a moment in your life when you are truly proud of what you have done and the fact that you did it all by yourself.