1. Try to set her up: When you are single, people are just going to assume that you would rather be in a relationship. Never mind the fact that you are choosing to be single, friends and family will try to set you up every chance they get (most likely with people that are nowhere near your type). What these loved ones need to realize is that their services are neither wanted nor needed. If you are a female with a pulse, you can easily go out and find a man yourself, #thankyouverymuch.
2. Try to talk her into online dating: Most single ladies have been asked “Why haven’t you tried online dating?!” or "Why not give Tinder a try?” HMMM, I don’t know, maybe because I’d rather meet someone organically as opposed to judging their picture and 140-character bio. Online dating may be the norm these days but some of us still want to meet someone in a cute and natural way…sorry not sorry.
3. Ask her the dreaded question: Want to make a proud, single girl angry? Start your interaction with her by asking “So, any guys in the picture?” Really? That’s the best you got? I am an intelligent, young woman with a lot going on and your main inquiry about my life is whether or not there’s a man in the picture? Skirrrrrrrt. Also, please don’t feel the need to text me every week asking if there are “any new boys?” No, I have not met someone and fallen deeply in love since you texted me last Tuesday, but thank you for the concern.
4. Talk about why being in a relationship is soooooo much better than being single: We all know those people. You know, the people who believe that being in a serious relationship is the only way to live. Guess what? It ain’t! This does not mean that we aren’t happy for you. We just want you to understand that being single doesn’t mean being unhappy. Instead, it means that a person is taking their time in discovering who they are before they commit to someone else. So please have fun watching me flirt at the bar while you awkwardly sit on your phone…how do you like them apples?
5. Flirt with her taken friend: You are a beautiful single woman ready for a night of flirty fun at the bar. Your hair and makeup are looking amazing and you love your outfit. Suddenly, you see a guy walking over to you and you start to get excited...and then the guy makes a move for your TAKEN friend. Really?! Then, your taken friend becomes overcome with confidence and flirtatiously explains to the guy that she has a boyfriend while you become filled with rage.
6. Act like you’re a failure because you’re single: Some single girls are happy to be single…and some aren’t. Note to those girls who are single and not happy about it: please end the pity party! If your only “problem” is being without a significant other, you have it amazingly good. Just because you are single does not mean you are an Amazonian creature that is destined to live a life of solitude. Also, those who act like being single is a curse can bother their friends who are happy to be single. We did not ask to be invited to your pity party and we have no desire to sulk with you. Frankly, the only people invited to your pity party should be two gentleman by the name of Ben & Jerry. Please have fun crying into your Cherry Garcia while I don’t let my single status define me.
EMBRACE SINGLEDOM!
