Valentine's Day is here, and that typically means a lot hi's and hello's and "would you like to be my girlfriend/boyfriend?" But if you don't want a repeat of your last relationship or at least want to start off on the right track to a happily ever after, here's a few tips.
1. Know your preferences.
If you don't know what you want, chances are you won't know who you want either. Preferences are tricky. Some are broad, and some are specific. Figure it out before you end up with someone because they own leather jackets so that makes them a "bad boy". Don't be generic either. If your preferences are "funny, cute, and smart", well I have news for you..
2. Don't rush into the relationship
There is nothing worse than meeting someone and thinking they're the one for you, and 2 weeks to a month later you find out that they're an evil human being that likes to talk shit about others to make themselves feel better. Same thing with sex. Don't do it - I mean, unless it's a physical mutual agreement with no emotions attached, sure - but just don't. If you want a good steady relationship with no awkward surprises, then test the waters and get to know them a few months in before taking that dive and popping the question.
3. Don't pick the better guy/girl, but pick the guy/girl that'll make you a better girl/guy.
It's simple. If they don't challenge you to become better and motivate you to succeed, then you're wasting your time. A relationship is about growing, together. If this isn't the case, then you're either 1) using the person for your own selfish needs or 2) pitying the other person.
4. Don't settle for less
Let's assume that you do - you go for someone that doesn't meet your "arguably too high" standards. Two scenarios: 1) One day, you meet someone better. Then you're forced to either be that asshole who dumps the person they're with for someone better, or live the rest of your life thinking "what if". Or 2) You don't meet anyone better, so you live your entire life not completely satisfied with your relationship, which is arguably worse than being alone. If they find out, well .. good luck.
5. Opposites do NOT attract.
Contrary to the popular quote, that only works in molecular science, not relationships. In math, and just about everything else - multiplying a negative and positive will give you a negative. Find someone that share your passions and interests; beliefs and dreams. Otherwise the only conversations you'll ever have with him/her will be:
"How was your day?"
"Good, you?"
"Good."
"Great"
6. Love yourself first
"We accept the love we think we deserve." (Stephen Chbosky)
This is important if not most important. If for some reason your self-image involves the words "useless" and "pathetic", chances are, you're going to end up with someone who you (probably subconsciously) consider as "useless" and "pathetic". So love yourself (no matter how hard the task), and good things will come. Trust me.
There you have it. And if first you don't succeed, then you probably messed up somewhere. Read this again.
