So I went to the Lambda Chi Alpha annual Heaven and Hell party dressed as a “condom angel” and armed with 500 condoms. Here’s what I heard:
1. “Why are you doing this?”
I liked this question a lot because I got to plug the wonderful people who helped me get 500 condoms to hand out—the Great American Condom campaign! GACC is an organization that helps to promote safe sex on college campuses and they’re the reason I was able to pass those bad boys out.
2. “Are they free?”
Most people were baffled that I was able to hand out so many condoms. Many people thought I was doing this on my own dime, but thankfully I wasn’t. Because I got them free, I was able to pass them out to literally anyone who would take them and tell them to come get more if they needed it. Although condoms are often given away, I think seeing such variety and quality in Trojan made people hesitant—they always wanted to know if there was a catch.
3. “Oh my god thank you so much!”
I had a lot of girls thank me for doing this, calling me a real angel (fitting because of the theme) and quite a few guys who were very eager. It was interesting that most guys would only take one, timidly, whereas girls were the ones asking if they could take two or three.
4. “You got any Magnums?”
I would always, in a delighted voice, say yes, and help the boy to pick out a few. I’m not judging anyone here, but some of them asked a little too smoothly.
5. “No, thank you, she doesn’t want any.”
I heard more than one girl say this about another girl, often with a look of disdain on her face. I felt validation when they took some anyway. We, as women, shouldn’t be shaming safe sex, or any sex really. I was shocked that more than one girl tried to police the amount of condoms that the other girls got, usually saying they didn’t need any, after turning down some herself. I also had one girl who, whenever we made eye contact, gave me a death stare, like I’d dare enter her holy sanctuary of Lamda Chi Alpha and hand out—gasp—condoms.
6. “No, we don’t need any.”
Many guys tried to take condoms, but were stopped by their girlfriends. Some girls tried to take condoms and were either given a look of surprise—and glee—or they were told to put them back. It was interesting to see the dynamics between some couples as they inched towards me, their eyes wide in anticipation at what their significant other might say.
All in all I would do this every frat party I went to, if I had enough condoms. I’d say around 200 people cleaned me out of 300 condoms, which was a fairly even distribution. I had fun, hopefully there was some safe sex to be had, and I think everyone enjoyed talking about it.
