Just over a year ago, I moved from a small Pennsylvania town to Portland, Oregon on my own. I had graduated high school a mere four months prior and a four-digit savings account scraped together from my minimum wage job when I packed my two suitcases and my cat, and jumping on a plane.
A year later, I'm back on the East Coast after some of my goals shifted, but I have definitely learned some things the hard way. Hopefully some of my experiences will be able to help someone out there, because moving on your own is really tough.
1. Making Friends is Harder Than You Think.
When I was beginning to plan my move, it was really the artistic community that attracted me to Portland in particular. However, when I actually got there, it became evident that people naturally form cliques- whether they're in middle school or in their 30s. Generally a very outgoing person, it was extremely hard to be so utterly alone, and I fell into some not-so-good relationships thanks to my need for connection. It takes time, months even, to find that one friend that you really connect with when you're in an entirely new place, but it's so worth it.
2. Get Everything in Writing
Please, please, please. I was a first time renter, who moved in with a fairly awful roommate, and I didn't know any better. Whenever I would email my landladies to fix something or discuss a general issue, they would call my roommate to talk. The entire security deposit was lost, and I had to pay a month of rent that we had agreed to eliminate because I didn't realize how important it was at the time. Please, make sure to have them write it down.
3. Meet Your Roommate Beforehand
As I said, I had a pretty awful roommate- from a kitchen sink covered in a film of mold to a foster dog that I found out about at work over Instagram. Frankly, I'm partially to blame, I could've avoided it easily if I had been able to meet him in person before moving in, and set up boundaries as soon as I moved in.
4. Money Issues are Scary
I can't tell you how many nights I stayed up playing Fallout 3 or Skyrim to try to drown out my anxiety over bills. It's one of those adult things that you know are there, but you never really think about how it will apply to you until you're living paycheck to paycheck on your own across the country with no one to fall back on if you mess up. Budgeting became my best friend out there, and slowly I was able to find money to start a new book collection, and even those nice shoes I had my eye on. Keep track of where your money goes, and rule out what you don't need, but also don't forget that you're human. You will mess up and buy a $50 dress instead of groceries, but don't beat yourself up about it.
5. Get Out More
At the risk of sounding like your mom, I really recommend you find ways to get out of your apartment or dorm when you can. Find groups through MeetUp or give NaNoWriMo a try, even just take a walk. It truly helps when you're stressed out to get a change of scenery, even if you're still typing on your laptop- just at a coffee shop downtown. And the more events you go to, the more likely you may be able to make that anchor friend.
6. You'll Cry a Lot, But It's Worth It
Doing anything completely on your own can be hard, but uprooting yourself from where you were born and raised can be especially trying. There will be so many nights where you question your decision to move, wondering if you'll ever have real friends and enough money to eat, and I'm not going to lie, it's really freaking hard. It's okay to feel that way. But once you get yourself established, and have a couple close friends, you'll realize how priceless the experience was. You learn so much about yourself and what you can handle, and I swear on my life it's worth the stress and pain you'll go through. You got this.
