It's how many friends you have. How many text messages light up your cellphone's lock screen. How many friends you have around the table during lunch or dinner. How many invitations you receive. How many snap stories you are in. How many birthdays you celebrate. Sound right? Well, college taught me something new & different. Something better. What friendship actually is -- even more, what a good friend is.
1. Tough love.
You may not like it at first, but later on its appreciated. It's easy to pull the "you probably shouldn't do ***" or the "you should probs start studying" [*midterm week*] Be the friend that stops you from doing something that will eventually be a brunch regret or blatantly ignore you in order for you to stop talking and study.
2. Personal confidence.
A friend makes you feel good about yourself, makes you feel like they're happy to have you as a friend. He/she boosts your confidence. Pulling teeth for a "friend" to grab lunch or dinner with you is quite the opposite. They shouldn't make you feel like you have to hide who you are or feel embarrassed. A friend lifts you up, as simple as that.
3. By your side.
For someone to know all of you, you in the light & the darkness, and stick by your side, that person is a friend to fight for. A friend who is a blessing. The kind that won't let you do anything fun or scary alone.
4. Know you.
They knew you freshmen year. But, do they know two years passed and you've changed? Are they aware of what happened in those years? The struggles, smiles, cries, or moments of love? Do they even know who you are anymore? A friend will see how you've changed. Even more, he/she will be there along the way.
5. Are we friends...
"If someone wants to be a part of your life, they'll make an effort to be in it" -He's Just Not That Into You [movie].
Don't settle for people that just say yeah we're good friends. Because those are just words, nothing more. Friends will want to be in your company, know what's happening with you. A friend will want to be a part of your life. If he/she is your friend, they'll make an effort, easy as that.
6. Be present.
Only there in my dark times, then you're someone who comforts me. Only there in the good times, then you're a fellow partier. But, a friend is someone present when you smile and cry & dance and mope. Find a friend willing to dance under strobe lights with you & sit by your side in silence just so you're not alone. Because it's a blessing. Pinky Promise.
Before college, I thought if you made a friend, then they'll always be a part of your life. College showed something else; it showed me reality. Friends do leave. I wish they wouldn't, but it happens. I guess sometimes some friends just don't want to be a part of your life anymore.
My advice? Never stop making friends. Grab the old ones, embrace the new ones & live life.
