After coming out this past summer, I've dealt with a lot of different reactions from lots of different people. Over time, things calmed down a little bit, but there are a few comments that come up fairly often for me and a lot of other bisexual people out there.

Well, which do you like better?

Bisexuality means having romantic and physical attraction to both men and women. Some bisexual people like both genders, 50-50. Some bisexual people like one gender more than the other. Sometimes your preference between men and women can shift and be fluid. I don’t like being asked to quantify my attraction to one gender, because the whole point of me being bi is that I don’t really care what gender the person I’m interested in is.

But you’re actually gay, right?

Nope. I’m bisexual. I’m not half-gay, half-straight. I’m bi. It’s its own thing, completely valid, and completely separate from homosexuality and heterosexuality. Asking a bi person this makes it seem like you think you understand their sexuality more than they do - which is completely wrong. Sorry it may take you a little while to wrap your head around it, but bisexuality is real, my friends.

It’s just a phase.

I’ve known that I’ve been attracted to both males and females for as long as I can remember. If being bisexual is just a phase, mine has lasted almost 20 years now. If someone would assume that my sexuality is a phase, wouldn’t it be safe to assume that everyone’s sexuality comes and goes in phases? So people could go from straight to gay and back, and everywhere in between? Wouldn’t that change the way people looked at the LGBT community…?

Can you be my gay best friend?

No, I can’t. First, I’m not gay. Second, you wouldn’t ask someone to be your “black best friend,” so why is it okay for you to ask me to be your gay best friend. Oh, wait. It’s not okay.

You must have threesomes all the time.

People have this strange misconception that since bisexual people are attracted to males and females, that they can’t be in monogamous relationships. While monogamy isn’t for everyone, it is for a lot of people, bisexual or otherwise. In addition to this, it’s really none of your business who I sleep with or how many people I sleep with. I don’t want to sleep with every person I see. Sorry.

Just pick one already.

I’ve said it a couple times in this article already, but one more time can’t hurt. Bisexual people are attracted to men and women, which means they can’t just pick one. They’re attracted to both, that’s just how it is. Even when a bisexual person gets married, their sexuality doesn’t change no matter who they marry.

In the end, people are going to talk. Not everyone is going to "get it," approve, or be respectful. What really matters is that you get to be yourself and love who you love.