The first few months of college is a time unlike anything you've experienced before and anything you'll experience again. As a result, it's natural to be nervous in the summer before you head off to college, regardless of if you're moving across the country or across town. In the weeks leading up to my freshman move-in day, I scoured the Internet and reached out to older friends to find out what to expect in this new environment. You'll learn more in your first year of college, both academically and otherwise, than you could ever expect. Here are a few things I learned the hard way in college.
1. Don’t compare your experience to what you see on social media.
In an age when digital plastic surgery can be purchased for $2.99 on the App Store, there’s a good chance that the pixels on your phone don’t exactly correspond to reality. With a single swipe, apps like Facetune can instantly smooth away blemishes, brighten eyes and sculpt an entirely new figure. While you may look at someone’s newest post and feel instantly inadequate, there are plenty of things your phone screen doesn’t show. You don’t see the dozens, even hundreds, of photos taken before one was deemed adequate. You don’t see the hour that she labored over the picture in editing apps, wiping away all of her insecurities. You don’t feel her anxiety as she posts the completed project on Instagram, nervously scanning her notifications because the number of “likes” she receives is directly tied to her perceived self-worth.
Beyond the issues of body image, it’s all too easy to assume that a picture-perfect social media account is an indication of a picture-perfect life. However, nobody’s life is perfectly filtered and carefree. Regardless of how cheerful and loved a person seems on Instagram or Facebook, the stigma surrounding the expression of mental illness, depression and even plain old sadness discourages people from revealing these perceived weaknesses. A photo captures a split second in time; it’s rarely an indication of the other 86,399 seconds of that day. You've got to keep things in perspective when browsing social media. A person's real struggles are not broadcast online, and comparing someone else's highlight reel to your ups and downs is like comparing yourself to Jennifer Aniston; you're going to feel inadequate every time (47 years old and her legs are better than mine will ever be).
2. You’re not alone.
In the first few months, every freshman is in the exact same position. Thrown into uncharted waters, every single person is just as insecure and self-conscious as you are. Making new friends is hard, and doing that while also juggling nightly reading, weekly exams and your mental stability is damn near impossible. If you go out of state for college like I did, chances are there will be few, if any, familiar faces when you walk onto campus. However, the best part about living in the dorms is being surrounded by hundreds of new people, and you should view every single person as a possibility. Of course, there will eventually be people you don't like and people who don't like you, and that's OK. But, as long as you make an effort, you will eventually find your place in this crazy world.
3. Your friend group will evolve.
The people I met the first week of college were not the people that I cried with the week we had to leave, and that’s OK. In a school of thousands and nine-month school year, you have plenty of possibilities; I didn’t even meet my current best friend until November. While I do know a few friend groups that have survived the tumultuous first year, they are a rarity. But that shouldn’t discourage you from making friends with your roommate or the girls on your floor, especially in the first few weeks. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Oftentimes, you find "your people" through a friend-of-a-friend. Maybe you end up clicking with your roommate's high school friend's neighbor's classmate, but you wouldn't have met that person if you stayed in your room alone every night.
I am a firm believer that everybody enters your life for a reason. The reason isn’t always good, but those negative experiences will often be more beneficial in the long run. You have to be willing to fight through the rough times to reach happiness, and sometimes it may feel as though everyone else has their friend group (and life) figured out while you're still aimlessly floating along, but if you follow my next piece of advice, your next best friend could be just around the corner.
4. Saying yes to the unknown will lead to some of the best experiences of your life.
While spending a night with ice cream and Netflix can be tempting, seek out experiences beyond your routine. Go out on a Sunday, sign up for Greek life, try out for an intramural sport—no matter what you do, have fun with it. College is a time of exploration and discovery and staying within your comfort zone out of fear will cause you to miss out on this opportunity.
5. But recognize your limits.
For the majority of students, this is the first time experiencing life beyond their parents’ watch, and this freedom can become a drug. Going out with friends on a Thursday isn’t the best idea if you have an 8 a.m. exam the next morning. In a parent-free environment, you need to be mature enough to understand when to say no. When looking back at your year, you’re more likely to remember the failing grade you got on the Psychology midterm than the sub-par Thursday night house party. You should never be pressured into doing something you're not OK with, and it's fine to say no to a situation that feels wrong.
6. Take as many pictures as you can.
Before long, you’ll be walking across the stage at graduation, wondering where the time had gone. Document every friend, every night, every memory with your camera. Be “that friend” who is always taking videos and photos, your friends will thank you when they can look back on the . Make your camera roll a visual timeline of your year. You’ll appreciate it the morning after, when you’re laughing with your friends about the crazy antics of the previous night. You’ll appreciate it at the end of the year as you drive away from your freshman dorm, wondering how the hell you survived the last nine months. And, most importantly, you’ll appreciate it in 40 years, when a crazy candid photo of you and your best friends is the only remaining memory of that one night in freshman year.
Your freshman year of college is unlike anything you’ve experienced before and unlike anything else you‘ll experience again. There will be drama, heartbreak, and a whole lot of uncertainty. But for every bad day, there will be dozens of moments when you can only stop and marvel at how blessed you are. If you're about to start your freshman year, just know that you're in for the ride of your life. Push through the bad times, be grateful for the good times, and make a whole lot of memories.
