Here's the thing about being bisexual, or having a sexuality that doesn't favor just one gender: it can kind of suck. Sure, your dating pool is now supposedly huge, and you don't have to question your orientation every time you see some eye candy that you should not be attracted to (and I'm not just talking about that player your friends warned you about). In a lot of ways, being attracted to more than one gender is pretty cool, just like any other sexual identity. In a lot of other ways, it can be kind of a hassle, and this is why.
1. People don't believe you
Bisexuality is becoming pretty widely accepted now, which is fantastic. When I first started peeking my head out of the closet, finding people who believed bisexuality existed was like hunting for Bigfoot conspiracy theorists. Most people believed anyone coming out was doing it for attention or for a trend. Even now its common to be asked or told what your sexuality means. If I had a nickel for every time I heard things like "Are you sure you're not just gay?" or "Well you can't like both," or the infamous "you're going through a phase," then maybe I could buy a loud buzzer to play when someone says that.
2. You're "greedy"
Who even came up with this logic? If I like dogs and cats I'm not greedy, I just like both. I mean I might be greedy if I bought the entire pet store but let's be real, It's hard enough just finding and keeping one partner.
3. Whoever you're dating defines your sexuality
Whenever you have a new partner in your life you will inevitably be asked, "So, are you straight/gay now?" No, no I'm not. Still bi. Even if I got married I would still be bisexual. If I were to date a person of color it would not make me any less white, and if I were to date a man it would not make me any less gay.
4. People assume you're promiscuous
Even if that was any of your business (it isn't), being bisexual doesn't make you a more or less sexual person than anyone else. Bisexuality and monogamy are not mutually exclusive, and it's actually really creepy when people make presumptuous comments about what you're into.
5. You get rejected even in the LGBT+ community
Probably one of the more disheartening experiences after coming out as bisexual is getting rejected by other LGBT+ people. There's a lot of negative stigma around the concept of bisexuals being unfaithful, or only experimenting and not really looking for a relationship. The question of whether being bi makes you "gay enough" to be a part of the community can feel incredibly isolating. The concept of biphobia is actually a real problem, especially for younger people who are trying to develop a self-concept based on the reactions of other people. The worst part, of course, is that biphobia can come from both sides, leaving little room for a safe space in which to feel supported.
6. People dehumanize you
The point this is all leading up to is that people don't always treat you like someone worthy of privacy and respect. We are human, we need support and for people to listen to us. If you wouldn't say it to a close friend or family member, don't say it to us. You may have people in your life trying to reach out to you, and trying to be open. Make room for them. Be a part of the new stigma to help people everywhere have a better experience.
