To all of my awkward friends, this one is for you:
1. Dancing
If you’re awkward like me, this is one of our biggest struggles. It starts out at the pregame, when you’re dead sober, just standing around because you physically do not know what to do with your body. We stand there and pound shots, in hopes it will warm us up. After some liquid courage, we start to feel the music. In our own little corners, we begin to sway our hips, singing along to the words. Things are going great and we finally are feeling more comfortable. But then, out of the corner of one of our friends’ eyes, they spy us. “OMG, YOU ARE SO AWKWARD.” they point and laugh. Shit. Back to my corner of isolation.
2. Greetings
Do you ever debate if you should hug someone or just wave hi? If you’re socially inept like us awkward people, this is a huge concern. Or when someone goes in for the classic kiss on the cheek greeting. What side do I turn to? What if we accidentally touch lips? I almost wish there was a big fat sign on someone’s forehead telling me what to do. When it comes to saying hi to people on the street, we look down at our phones, refreshing the same social media sites to avoid making eye contact with anyone we know. PSA: we aren’t trying to be rude, just too awkward. UGH.
3. Snapchatting
Snapstorying a seflie? Absolutely not. Sending a mass snapchat? NEVER. I can barely respond to my best friends as it is. How do you know what face to make? What do I make the caption? How do I know if I should answer? Can we just text instead? I actually feel uncomfortable watching my reflection in the camera. Thank god for snapchat effects.
4. Public Speaking
To all classes that factor participation into my grade, you are ruining my life. If you’re awkward like me, the idea of public speaking is frightening. And to whoever started the trend to “think of the audience in their underwear” thank you for the useless suggestion. The idea of being watched turns us into red-faced, shaky monsters. If it means never having to speak in public, I will happily take the 0 percent.
5. Candid Pictures
This is something I will never be successful at. Whenever my friends say “OK, do something cute now,” I just stare right back at them. How do I pretend to laugh if nothing is funny? Do I stick my tongue out? Is that even cute anymore? SOS.
6. People Pointing Out Your wAkwardness
This is by far the worst struggle. No matter what we do, someone always catches us in the act of being awkward, only making matters worse. It doesn’t matter if these people have known us for years or just a few weeks, they never fail to bring it to our attention. Soon enough, everyone else catches on and you become the poster-child for awkwardness. Well to all of my lucky, not awkward friends...I know, trust me. Just let me do my thing and you can laugh about it later.
While it may be entertaining to poke fun at us awkward people, just remember, we’re all a little quirky deep down.
