Change is all around us. You may not notice it day to day, but when you go to bed and think about how much has changed in the past year it is truly amazing. As second semester freshmen, sometimes you feel as if your world was flipped upside down and it can sometimes be overwhelming. Suddenly you’re in a new place to call home, with a new group of friends, and soon have to adjust and create a new normal. For some change comes easier than others, however I am the type of person who likes to have control in all aspects in my life so change can come off as terrifying. After doing some careful reflecting, here’s some advice I have come up with for others like me who have a hard time handling change.
1. Don’t live in the past. Time is irreversible, but the future is in your hands.
I am a huge over thinker and have a tendency to analyze all the aspects of my life. My best friend and I get into the habit of talking about the “what ifs” that still plague our minds from the past. What if I had the courage to tell that person I liked them before it was too late? What if I remained close friends with this person instead of drifting apart? What if I made a mistake? Reminiscing on the what ifs is a way of clinging on to the past and not moving forward in a healthy manor. Regardless of how much your world seems to be changing, thinking about the way things used to be is only going to hold you back from embracing the change that’s coming your way.
2. Even when times are tough, try to look at the bigger picture.
Life sometimes throws things our way that are unexpected and can rock our world. A personal example of when I needed to shift my focus is when my dad was in the hospital this past year. At the time, it seemed like my world was falling apart and everything was at a standstill. After coming out on the other side from that hard time, I appreciated the lessons it taught me. During my dad’s time in the hospital it brought us closer together and my dad and I formed a much stronger relationship then the one we shared growing up. His time in the hospital also gave me a new found appreciation for my health and to not take each day for granted.
3. Remember that doors close so new ones can open.
Has there ever been a time in life that you are grateful something didn’t go your way? As humans, it is our natural tendency to fixate on what we want instead of what we need. What we want and need can sometimes be two very different things. The most cliche example of this is relationships. Some guys are going to hurt you and be hard to say goodbye to, but when you find one who is worth waiting for it makes sense why all the others didn’t work. Don’t get me wrong, it is hard to let go of people we have invested time and energy into. Sometimes even though it’s painful, we have to remove ourselves from toxic situations or people in order to open ourselves up to something that is worth waiting for.
4. When we are pushed out of our comfort zone is when we find growth.
The times that I have encountered the most growth were the times that I dealt with the most change in my life. Going into high school I decided I needed a change and went to a high school in which I knew no one. At first, it was intimidating having to put myself out there. In the end I believe I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I didn’t switch schools. I wouldn’t have found the amazing group of best friends I have to support me, I wouldn’t have become the disciplined student I am today, and I wouldn’t have been nearly as prepared to go to a college 14 hours away from home from Chicago to Texas. Don’t be complacent in what feels comfortable. Where there is change, there is also growth.
5. Be grateful for the things in your life that remain constant.
Things that are consistent often go unnoticed. Normally we don’t notice the regularity in our life until something occurs that makes us appreciate it. Instead of letting consistency be unappreciated, try to show gratitude to the things that have remained constant even when everything else is changing. Thank your mom for always being there for you when you needed a shoulder to cry on. Thank your childhood best friend for putting up with your crazy self for this long.
6. Don’t run from change, embrace it.
Change has a tendency to freak us out. Instead of fighting the things that are changing with the passage of time, realize that change is unavoidable. The great philosopher Socrates wrote, “The secret to change is to not focus all of your energy from fighting the old, but on building the new.” Regardless of the circumstance, the power is in your hands to make the best of it.
