Oxford, Mississippi is the home of a great SEC giant known as Ole Miss. The town frequently is voted the most beautiful school in the nation, as well as one of the top journalism schools. But honestly, going to beautiful southern buildings everyday flooded with beautiful people gets old. Here are six reasons you should never, ever, go to the University of Mississippi.
1. The Southern Hospitality
In Oxford, people hold doors open for you wherever you go. Friendly people on the streets say hello. Store workers and cashiers will call you "hun" and "sweetheart." It is almost impossible to find a frowning face, and the Square is basically straight out of a Southern Living magazine. Absolutely don't come to school here if you enjoy bad manners and mean people.
2. The Grove Attire
On Saturdays during the fall, you will never find an Ole Miss belle simply wearing an Ole Miss t-shirt and shorts. Men have to wear khakis, jeans, bowties, and blazers. Seeing the Manning family and the Tuhoy family is common. But honestly, seeing beautiful and famous people dressed up to watch world-class SEC football in a historic college town isn't that impressive. Don't come to school here if you want to wear boring clothes to watch a boring team.
3. The Southern Comfort Food
In Oxford we call mac and cheese a vegetable. Honestly, sometimes I just want some kale cardboard that makes me feel good about myself. The famous food gets old, and walking the Martin Hill doesn't burn all those calories. You can go to Boure and get a chicken salad sandwich, or my personal favorite - the four cheese pizza from Old Venice. But yeah, don't come here if you hate carbs.
4. The Liberal Arts Education
It's not like enrollment has increased for every year for the past five years. Or the current freshman class has the highest GPA in UM history. Ole Miss has the best accounting school in the country. Our classes have a great ratio, but if you aren't into great classes then you should take your college search elsewhere.
5. The Nightlife
At Ole Miss, we don't have any fun at all. We watch "Glee" on Netflix all weekend. We don't ever go out on the Square. The Levee and The Corner are dead at all hours. There is literally nothing happening on the Square past 8 p.m.
6. The Campus Involvement
It's not like every girl from winter of her senior year until October of her freshman year prepares for rush by buying designer dresses, photoshoots, and creating rush packets. There are also tons of Christian fellowship groups like Ruf, Cru, and Young Life. If you don't like seeing big, beautiful houses adorned with Greek letters or having tons of service opportunities, then it's not for you. Don't visit Oxford if you don't like seeing several groups of students having fun doing things that interest them.
These are just some of the reasons Oxford isn't all that great. We have a history like no other and an identity people purposely come here to be a part of. We have a spirit that's unrivaled, and someone always has something to say when you mention Ole Miss.
And if beautiful buildings and premier SEC football just don't do it for you, you could tour Bama. Or LSU maybe.
