We're all guilty of it.
You get this idea in your head, an idea of how things should be. You build it up and up and up until it's so big -- such a towering mountain in your direct pathway -- that you can't see around it. It's a mountain that's practically impossible to climb, but you convince yourself that you have to... and by creating such an unobtainable mountaintop in your head, you're the reason for your own downfall. It happens to the best of us.
You expect things to go a certain way: Point A to Point B. Seemingly simple enough, like a straightaway path, but it isn't. It's really, really steep. It's really, really loopy. All of the twists and the turns and the ups and the downs, they make it really, really hard. But isn't anything worth doing? Isn't the point of getting somewhere -- through hard work? If you didn't work for something you don't have much reason to be proud of it.
"Oh, look. This diploma just fell into my hands. Cool."
"Oh hey, Grandma- what's this?? A 6 figure salary? For me? Awesome!"
"What's this thing? A big house with a white picket fence, filled with a loving family, true friends, and a comfortable lifestyle? I guess I'll take it..."
It's fair to say that those examples are a bit exaggerated, but the principle stands. Anything worth holding onto is worth working for; you can't expect your life to be handed to you on a silver platter. Why would you want that, anyway? Maybe it's just me, but I would much rather create a life for myself that I can cherish and genuinely appreciate than one that was just handed to me. I want to work for it, because if I don't, I won't understand how lucky I am. A happy life isn't about what you have, but how you look at it.
The work that you're going to have to put into your life is going to be hard, that's no secret. But again, that hard work is what's going to make this life that you're living worthwhile. Don't worry about the work because the work is good. Life is about the work. Still, don't let yourself forget: nobody is perfect. It's the biggest cliche in the book, I know, but it's cliched for a reason. It's true. You can't expect for the work to come easy and you can't expect to get all of the work right. Mistakes are half of the journey, so don't beat yourself up over them. Have a bit of faith in yourself and remember that it's all going to work out. You are strong and you are built to last.
And if you ever feel the work catching up to you, please remind yourself:
1. You can only do so much.
I, personally, wish that I learned this one sooner. You can spend every single minute of your time putting every single ounce of your soul into something, but there's only so much that you can get back. This isn't to say not to try hard: it's important to give life everything you've got. Just don't put everything you've got into one thing. You never know how it's going to turn out. Staying up in the library until three every morning isn't doing you any favors. Grades are important, yes, but you know what else is important? Your health: physically and mentally, they both matter. Your loved ones: your friends and your family are worth the extra time. Don't spread yourself too thin, but don't forget about the other important things in your life. You will feel so much less stressed once you start to let go of the overkill and focus on all of the little things that matter. It might seem like that's even more work, but it's not. Please, just give yourself a break.
2. You never stop learning.
You can take class after class, watch demonstration after demonstration, but you'll never know it all. Part of what makes life so exciting is its unpredictability, which means you can't prepare for everything that's going to come your way. Of course it is important to focus, but if something comes your way that you don't know the answer to, that doesn't mean you aren't good at what you do. Be it in your studies, your field of work, or even in your relationships. You can't expect to know how to respond to every situation. But once something comes your way, you'll know how to better prepare yourself next time. If you make a mistake or don't know the answer, don't feel bad about it. Appreciate the fact that it was a learning experience for you and feel proud that you're going to do all the much better the next time.
3. You're your own biggest fan...
Not trying to sound morbid here, but the only person that's going to be there the day that you born and the day that you die is you. You're in it for the long haul, so you might as well like yourself, right? Other people can cheer you on as you go, but the only opinion that matters in the end is your own. People can look at you and critique every last thing that you do, but it's only going to affect you if you let it. How other people treat you doesn't matter nearly as much as how you treat yourself. You have an opportunity to be your own personal cheerleader. Never forget that.
4. ...But you're also your own biggest critic.
Nobody is going to be as hard on you as you are on yourself. You're not going to be able to do everything the exact way that you want to; it's impossible to do everything perfectly. Don't give yourself a hard time for the things you can't control. It's wonderful that you're always looking to improve yourself, but don't put down every single thing that you do. Remember how amazing it is that you've come as far as you have. Reward yourself for the distance you've traveled, but don't reprimand yourself for the miles you haven't completed yet. It might not be today, but you'll get there. Like I said before, the only opinion that ultimately matters is your own. Unfortunately, your opinion of yourself isn't always going to be a good one. It's up to you to try to look at each situation in a positive light, even your mistakes. Make decisions that you're proud of and always work to do the absolute best that you can, but, please, lighten up on yourself a little bit.
5. The stress means that you care.
If there's one thing that makes me feel even more anxious about a situation than I already do, it's looking around a room of people faced with the same task and realizing that they're all super calm about it. Why am I the only one stressing? Does it come easier to everyone else? Is there something wrong with me? Can I just not handle it? None of those things are true. You are just as competent as the next person. Not everyone you meet is going to be putting as much work into something as you are, but that doesn't make them better than you. The stress that you feel isn't a setback. At the end of the day, a little stress just means that you're passionate about the outcome and that's something to be admired. At the same time, though, too much stress is never good. Don't let it consume you, but know that it doesn't make you inferior.
6. The ride is the best part.
Think of it like a roller coaster: all the loops and mountains and falling are the reasons why you got on. All of those twists and turns are supposed to be the fun part, not where the ride lets you off. It's been said a thousand times, but life is about the journey and not about the destination. Don't spend all of your time worrying about where you are going to end up. Take a moment and look around where you are now, to appreciate the view. The majority of your days are spent working towards your goals, that time counts just as much as the time you spend celebrating at the finish line. If you spend all that time freaking out about the little things, the majority of your life is wasted. By taking the time to appreciate every day, even in the most stressful situations, you'll develop a deeper appreciation for the life that you live. That deeper appreciation for the world around you is what makes life worth living.
Side note: when I'm feeling worn down, I usually turn to the Beatles. In this sort of situation, Hey Jude is a great song to listen to. Paul McCartney, as always, says it best and I thought I would leave you with some of my favorite lyrics:
"And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders
For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder"
All in all, keep your chin up and be proud of yourself. Don't beat yourself up, shut yourself down, stress yourself out, or close yourself in. You're doing the best that you can and that is something to be admired.
