As African Americans our existence automatically comes with many obstacles, direct and indirect, living in a post racial society. As women we experience the obstacles of sexisms. Thus as African American females, we are placed a double disadvantage.
A recent BuzzFeed video entitled “Why Are Black Women So Angry” couldn’t have said it better….
“The most disrespected person in America is the black woman. Most unprotected woman in America is the black woman. The most neglected person in America is the black woman.”
Black women experience a lot on a day to day basis. As an African American woman my existence, the simple fact that I am woman and black, can feel like a burden.
That’s a terrible thing. No one should ever feel like that. So if you’re a black woman like me, and maybe you’ve felt this way at some point, here are some things I want us to remember. And if you’re not, I still encourage you to read on so that you can gain some insight into the African American female experience.
1. We are beautiful.
Regardless of the standard of beauty. From a young age, unless you were raised in a very pro-black household, that the ideal image of beauty is the thin white woman. We have subconsciously developed a sense of self hatred. Many of us feel the pressure to wear weaves, straighten our hair, as a means to blend in and somehow achieve this beauty ideal. But we are beautiful without the straight hair. Natural hair is beautiful because it’s your hair and it doesn’t have to be a political statement. It’s you. It’s us. It’s our heritage - and that is beautiful.
“If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive. ” – Audre Lorde
2. We are extremely intelligent.
Being black is not the equivalent of being uneducated or ghetto, and to be educated and black does not mean that you are somehow “erasing your blackness” or “not black”. So even when you’re the only minority in a classroom, or the only minority in your entire grade in the first decile, don’t think you have somehow “lost your blackness” and don’t be ashamed. Take pride in it.
“Trust yourself. Think for yourself. Act for yourself. Speak for yourself. Be yourself. Imitation is suicide.” – Marva Collins
3. We have a right to be angry.
With all of the things we experience everyday (which nobody has the right to invalidate, @ the privileged kids at school), whether it may be someone saying, “You’re pretty for a black girl” or someone trying to touch your hair because it’s so “exotic,” it can make you angry. Don’t feel like you can’t be angry because you might fulfill a stereotype. Trying to suppress anger is when the real danger will manifest.
”In every crisis there is a message. Crises are nature’s way of forcing change — breaking down old structures, shaking loose negative habits so that something new and better can take their place.” — Susan L. Taylor
4. But… We have the power to make change.
It’s alright to be angry but it’s important to acknowledge that anger and transfer it into meaningful action. Whether it be by continuing your education, educating that individual who fetishized your hair, or a combination of the two, do something. The worst thing to do is to become paralyzed with anger so much so that you continue to drive the justification for the stereotype.
“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” – Maya Angelou
5. Be strong. Stand out.
You can be strong and not fulfill the stereotype or be perceived as manly. Don’t belittle yourself because of how others may perceive you. Keep sharing your perspective. Keep speaking out. Keep educating yourself and simultaneously educating other. Doing this, you’ll inevitably stand out. With your natural hair and outspoken character, people will inevitably be intimidated. So what? You are unique and special and no matter how hard this world may try, our existence is forever.
“I will not have my life narrowed down. I will not bow down to somebody else’s whim or to someone else’s ignorance. ” – Bell Hooks
6. Smile a little more.
- Remember that you are more than your circumstances; you are more than the self hatred this world tries to feed you; you are more than some one-dimensional stereotype. And keep smiling. This world cannot knock us down, not if we have a say…
“Don’t wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get you’ve got to make yourself.” – Alice Walker
To be black and to be woman are two beautiful modes of existence. So keep using your #BlackGirlMagic to block out the haters, build yourself up, and always remember to lift up other black women. We are strong and even more powerful in numbers.
In the words of Lena Home:
“It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.”
